


One Hell of a King

by destinysbastard



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Affectionate, Alternate Universe, Anger, Angst, BDSM, Caring, Choking, Crowley/Reader - Freeform, Demon Powers, Dirty Talk, Dominance, Dominant, Edging, Emotional Sex, Emotions, F/M, Fear, Inadequate Preparation, Kitchen Sex, Makeup Sex, Name Calling, Pain, Possessive Behavior, Possessiveness, Protective Winchesters, Protectiveness, Psychic Abilities, Public Sex, Public Stimulation, Punishment, Reader Insert, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Shower Sex, Smut, Spanking, Submission, Submissive, Teasing, Uhm, Violence, Well - Freeform, Worries, alright, also angry winchesters, angst at some point i guess, but it'll be okay i can promise that, but not much don't worry, but pain and pleasure, crowley / reader - Freeform, crowley / you - Freeform, crowley/you - Freeform, doubts, fucking the king of hell in a church..., getting caught in the act, i take it back the whole 'not much angst' thing sorry, intense edging, language probably?, lol ok bye, oh im gonna have to have some bonding in here yeah, physical violence, reader - Freeform, sex toy, that's what I call SINNING baby, yeah a demon with feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 17:51:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 38,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10037120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destinysbastard/pseuds/destinysbastard
Summary: (Crowley / Reader)You're the younger sister of Dean and Sam Winchester who are very protective of you. Also you happen to get involved with about the last person they'd want to see you with: Crowley, the king of hell. And one Hell of a King, mind you.(I feel like this idea has been done so many times, but idrc. Always a new take on it, right? And I plan to have it evolve into multiple chapters and ah I'm excited and u should give it a chance bye have fun)





	1. A demon at church / This is sinning

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually inspired by a very smutty dream I had the other day. I dreamt I was having sex with Crowley in a church. That's what I call sinning. I love it.  
> Anyway. I wanted to make something out of it. Plus I had more ideas so I thought it would be fun to do some one-shots, but then I started seeing connections and putting it all together and now I guess it'll just be a longer fanfic, so just wait and see, I guess.
> 
> Uh, this is actually the first time I am writing a pairing with the reader... as in someone / reader. Never liked them that much, but now suddenly obsessed. So yeah let's see lol
> 
> (And I just realized it's the first time in forever I've written F/M smut. woah)
> 
> Also I have a bunch of other wip's and ideas and my intention is indeed to get to them all, but I was too obsessed with this not to immediately write it down as I got the chance. So here we go with chapter one -
> 
> It's NOT betaed and I don't even really know about the titles but I thought fuck it I wanna post it. So I did.  
> Pls bear with me and I would be SUPER thankful for all feedback and corrections and kudos. <3

Damn, it'd been forever since you'd gone out for a hunt, not to mention all by yourself.

Your brothers were ridiculously protective of you, and while you appreciated their care, it did annoy you at times. You could take care of yourself pretty well by now, after all you had to do that rather often, with Sam and Dean being away on hunting trips a lot of the time, and only rarely letting you go with them.

You'd overheard your brothers talking about something that sounded like it could be a case: demons in a nearby church. They were busy with another case, so they decided to call some colleagues who could take care of it instead.

Most of them lived a bit further away though, and so you thought to yourself: why not just go and check it out? It was surely nothing big if Sam and Dean had decided there's bigger fish to fry.

So here you were, right behind the church, walking as quietly as you could. Everything seemed completely still. Other than the slightly crunching pebbles underneath your boots, there was no sound, not even a faint buzzing of traffic.

Thus when your phone suddenly rang, breaking the icy silence, you nearly jumped out of your skin. You quickly pulled yourself together and picked up, hoping no one had heard your phone.

"Where the hell are you?!" Dean's voice sounded in your ear. Oh great, they'd noticed you were gone and were once again worried out of their minds.

Were you supposed to lie? After all, the cat was pretty much out of the bag already...

"Please tell me you're not at the church," Dean said, his voice a mixture of worry and anger.

"I wish I could..." you replied weakly. You hated it when your brothers were angry at you, but now all you could do was get the phone call over with and enjoy the last peaceful hour you'll have before you get back to the bunker and have them both shouting at you.

"I was just gonna check it out..." Dean didn't wanna hear any of your excuses and cut you off sharply, "Well, it's done now. Crowley took care of it. So get out of there and come home right now."

Huh, Crowley. You were a little surprised, as your brothers weren't exactly on best terms with the king of hell - but they did have some... agreements, so they'd obviously been able to handle the situation somehow.

"Alright, alright. I'm leaving right now," you said in defeat.

You heard your brother sigh through the phone. "Good." is all he said. "Okay," you added, trying to calm him down. After a quick goodbye you both hung up.

Back to pebbles and cold autumn air and a twilight sky.

You had walked back to the front of the church and were almost past it when suddenly the lights inside flickered off. Just for a moment you came to a halt, an uneasy feeling spreading in your chest - yet you weren't really scared, maybe rather curious.

You did jump though when the heavy, broad front doors of the church suddenly flew open, hitting the wall beneath them. The inside was completely dark, black even.

Who knows why you thought it was a good idea to walk up those ancient steps, right into something that was just screaming  _Certain Death_ , and you foolishly followed the sign, just like all the people in all those horror movies did.

But you had your knife ready, and something just felt... different.

As stupid as it might sound, somehow it didn't feel as bad as it probably looked.

Maybe you were just missing the thrill of a good hunt too much, that could be it as well.

Either way, you walked in there, slowly, quietly, but somehow calmly.

The colorful church windows were still slightly glowing, carrying the last little bit of light into the grand building. Slowly your eyes adjusted to the darkness. But there was no one inside.

At least you thought so, until you suddenly heard a raspy, low voice behind you.

"Hello, love."

You spun around immediately, tracing back the voice to its owner. Your heart skipped a beat as you realized the king of hell was standing right in front of you, only about 20 inches away.

"What are you doing here, all alone? Come to pray?" he asked with a sarcastic smirk on his lips. His eyes were aglow in the dusk light.

"No," you replied, just as sarcastically.

Just then he disappeared. You spun around again when you heard his voice, this time from a farther distance behind you.

"Well, your brothers must be extremely worried, don't you think, dove?"

You walked towards him slowly, squinting at him. "Well, they shouldn't be. I'm not a little girl anymore."

"Oh, is that so?" he asked teasingly, always that damn smug grin on his face that you somehow simultaneously wished to wipe off his face with a stinging slap, and also thought was very attractive, actually.

You'd only met Crowley a few times before - always rather short times. He had always seemed a bit self-righteous to you, and you kinda hated how he always had some provocative comeback to everything everyone said.

But there was something about him that interested you quite a lot. He seemed self-righteous, but very charming at that. His smirk always made you want to know what he was thinking.

But his brothers had made it very clear to you that demons, and especially Crowley, were trouble, so you'd tried to stay away from them, and hadn't given that much more thought to this slight interest in Crowley.

"Yes," you said, raising your eyebrows, maybe being a bit of a tease as well.

Walking up to him now, you had to suppress a laugh at the view in front of you: the king of hell sitting in church.

"And why are  _you_ here? Trouble in paradise?"

He chuckled lightly, and then replied, "Let's just say... Even the most loyal people sometimes forget their place. And then you need to... take care of them." He seemed to make very careful word choices, and as he looked back at you, something evilish dancing in his eyes, you remembered that, as charming as the man in front of you might be, he was truly a ruthless killer.

You now standing rather close to him and he gestured for you to sit down next to him. Clenching your blade somehow made you feel safer, and so, holding onto it tightly, you actually sat down next to the king of hell.

He wasn't looking at you when he started smiling. "You won't need that, will you?" he said, and a small hand movement had your blade flinging out of your hand and sliding across the floor.

You flinched a little, and you did feel your breath hitch for a moment, but you stayed right where you were.

He now turned his gaze back to you, something mad blinking in his eyes.

"Now, are you a big girl, or what?" he asked, almost murmured, really.

Something was pulling you towards him so strongly, and you couldn't help but lean into it, when he reached out and stroked your cheek.

It all went very slowly and gently at first, surprisingly gently to be honest.

He moved towards you and his hand was now on the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him, and then he kissed you. His breath was warm, his beard was rough, and when his tongue entered your mouth, sensually exploring it, you felt yourself give in to his touch completely.

And then things started heating up.

His kissing got more aggressive, he bit your lower lip and got you wringing for air, and you realized you had never been kissed like this. At least it had never felt this amazing.

He was pulling you towards him and you finally let him. You moved on top of him, sitting on his lap now, your hands in his short hair, your lips still not parting.

Quite automatically, you started rolling your hips, grinding down on him, greedy to have more of him, to feel him.

He bit your lip one more time, and half-smiled into your lips, before he ran his hands down your side and slipped his hands underneath your open coat and your shirt, sending a million shivers through your skin.

His hands found their way to your breasts and he started massaging them, making you grind down even harder, hungry for more...

The next second you were both tearing at your clothes, ripping your coat off, and then quickly lifting your shirt over your head. And as soon as that was done you went back to kissing, and his hands, now having way more access to your upper body, pulled you closer, running up and down your sides and back.

And then Crowley started tracing kisses and licks and bites down your torso; first down to your neck, where he sucked hard and all you could think was  _Mark me_ , and then to your nipples, which made you go crazy.

You let your head hang down for a moment, resting against his, and you were so incredibly out of breath. He just chuckled and then soon helped you remove his suit.

For a moment you were taken aback at how hot he looked like this, just in his shirt and tie, hair all messed up, his pupils blown with lust - sitting there, wanting  _you._

You almost ripped off his shirt, and then started kissing his neck and grinding down on him again.

His hands made their way to your zipper, wiggled your pants down a little, for which you got up on your knees, so he had better access, and then his right hand snuck into your panties, rubbing your already dripping vagina, then skillingly circling his finger over your clitoris, making you moan and twist, getting you close, but stopping right there, the fucking tease he was.

He picked you up and laid you down on the bench, pulled down your pants completely now. Then he stood up and took off his own pants, his length unfolding and making you swallow hard.

He kneeled back down on the bench, an extremely confident and almost scary smile on his lips. He bent down, once again ran his hands over your body, and not ever breaking eye contact, he pushed inside of you, provoking a pain-ridden whine from you.

He seemed to enjoy the uncontrollable sounds you were making, whether produced by pain or pleasure, and he had now come to a steady rhythm that made you both moan and wring, pushing each other closer to the edge.

And that's when you couldn't keep it together anymore, your vision went white as a small firework exploded in your lower stomach and spread warmly through your whole body.

He rode you through your high and soon came too, spilling his warm seed inside of you, then slowing down and almost collapsing onto you, just holding himself up with his arms.

After a moment of closed eyes and both of your hitched breaths being the only sounds filling the big church, you shifted so that you were now lying half on top of him.

You were still catching your breath, your mind was racing, somehow empty and full at the same time - but you couldn't really grasp any of your thoughts.

For a moment he held you by his side but then he suddenly got up and after another moment of looking at your naked body longingly, he snapped with his fingers and immediately the two of you were dressed again.

"You better get home fast, or Squirrel and Moose will go mad worrying, don't you think?"

He smirked one last time and then he was gone and you were left in the big, dark church all by yourself.

You sat up, tried to collect some thoughts but you couldn't really.

So you got up and picked up your blade, turning it around in your hands for a moment.

You'd have a lot to process, but as you were heading home, a huge smile was sitting on your face, and even the shouting of your brothers seemed endurable now.

 


	2. All Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is fed up with how Crowley's been treating her ever since the incident at church... But the king of hell never disappoints - and never fails to claim what's his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was about time. Enjoy this. Will try to update soon.
> 
> Warnings: BDSM, name calling, dominance, submission, fear, spanking / punishment

Rubbing your eyes, you yawned and then stretched out your arms, willing away your exhaustion.

Last night you'd come home from a hunt at 2 in the morning, clothes dirty and your legs as heavy as lead. You hadn't even found the energy to clean up. Instead, you'd fallen into bed and dozed off in a matter of half a minute. You were paying the price now: looking into the mirror, your exhausted and disheveled reflection met you.

As you stepped under the hot water, a deeply content sigh escaped your throat. Hunts like these really taught one to appreciate one's daily luxury. It was almost perfect... except that your mind of course kept darting back to a certain man – well, demon, actually... During your hunt, you and your brothers had needed Crowley's help and even though you'd tried to come up with uncountable excuses not to call him, in the end you had to admit there was no other solution.

So he appeared and conversed with your brothers in a surprisingly casual way, barely even looking at you, which at first surprised you and then made you want to laugh. It would've been a strange, angry laugh, because you couldn't believe how he was acting. After what had happened at that church you hadn't seen him in nearly two weeks 'till that one hunt, and now he seemed to be pretending you weren't there. What the fuck? Had that night not been as good for him as it had for you? Or was it just some sick way of playing games with your mind? He was the king of hell, after all...

Your thoughts travelled to another face, a rather blurry one. The night had not ended with the hunt. Per usual, you went to get some drinks with Sam and Dean to celebrate your success in the last job. Dean found himself some – admittedly very cute – girl and stalked off with a grin; when Sam announced he'd go to bed early and asked if you were coming, you said, „Actually, I'll stay just a little while longer,“ surprising not just your brother, but also yourself. In your head, there hadn't really been a plan about staying until the moment Sam had asked.

Across the room a young, pretty attractive man had met your eyes and not really taken them off you much. He wasn't that special, but you were quite especially sexually frustrated. As if it hadn't been enough to be left back with your vibrator after having Crowley, you were not only horny but also angry at Crowley for ignoring you like that.

When Sam had left, it didn't take long for the stranger to sit down next to you and offer you a drink. It didn't take long until you were done talking and instead busy otherwise, either. He was a good kisser, for sure, just maybe a little too... gentle. You tried to shake the thought of Crowley's grip on you, and tried to simply enjoy another person's touch instead.

You'd never been a person to hook up at bars and go to someone's place just like that, you'd maybe even prided yourself a little bit in not being like Dean in that way. But there you were, and you truly couldn't care less. Take away the ridiculous comparison to, well, the literal king of hell, the night was good and your sexual frustration was surely a bit curbed.

After sex, you'd quickly gathered your stuff and left his apartment though, not wanting this to be anything more, not wanting to face him in the morning – nor your brothers, for that matter.

You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to undo the many knots. After a long time of standing in the steaming water, when your skin was starting to look red, you turned off the shower and stepped out into the cool bathroom, where you grabbed your towel, dried yourself and applied some body lotion to your dry and calloused skin.

The halls were quiet, which meant Sam and Dean were probably still asleep or getting breakfast somewhere. You made your way back into your room, towel wrapped around your torso. After picking out a fresh shirt and pair of shorts (truly taking in the lemon-y scents the clothes emmited), you took off your towel. Just before you had the chance to pick up your shirt, a low voice caused you turn around in surprise. None other than Crowley was standing in front of you, a smile as smug as ever gracing his lips.

„Miss me?“

At first you were just surprised to see him, and there were feelings of anger welling up in your chest again; then you suddenly realized you were standing completely naked in front him and a tiny bit of shame snuck up on you. For a part, you were trying to think of a way of covering up, but then again he'd seen your naked form before, and you decided not to give him the satisfaction of immediately making you flustered and nervous.

„Well, it took you long enough,“ you just said, folding your arms and trying to appear a bit cold rather than letting the anger get the best of you.

Crowley's face changed just the tiniest bit, eyes squinting lightly, smirk taking on a somewhat wicked shade – yet, the whole air around him changed.

„Is that,“ his voice was quiet, deep and sharp, „how you want to talk to your king?“

He had stepped closer, and you'd impulsively lowered your arms to your sides, taking a step back and bumping against the wall. You felt an invisible force pulling, or rather pushing you against the wall, limbs pinned, rendering you unable to move.

Crowley was just a few inches away, not touching you and yet he had complete control of you.

His piercing eyes seemed to go cold, and you realized, for the first time, you were truly scared of him. He had this invisible power over you, he could do anything to you in this very moment and there would be nothing you could do. Your throat felt dry and constricted, and you weren't sure whether your inability to speak was caused by fear or by Crowley's spell.

After a tense moment, in which your breath had barely co-operated, he said, „That's what I thought.“ Moving even closer, he whispered, „I'll teach you some manners.“

And then his lips were on you, rough, hot and angry, his tongue pushing in and his teeth biting, leaving you wringing for air. You were still pinned to the wall, though you felt you could breathe a bit more easily again.

His mouth travelled to your jaw, then your neck; and the uncountable marks he was sucking and biting into your skin were closer to hurting than just feeling good. One of his hands was playing with your breasts, not too kindly either.

„First of all,“ he half-whispered, half-growled inbetween breaths and bites, „ _You_ ,“ another extra hard bite that would surely leave a sore spot on your shoulder, „are _mine_. And _I don't share.“_ He bit onto your nipple, a bit too hard this time, making you whince and stiffen.

You gasped, a shiver of both shame and fear running through you. _He knows._

„I know what you were up to last night... And, well... I'm the only one who can take care of you like this, and you know it.“ His mouth closed around your hardened nipple, soothing the pain he had inflicted onto it before. You swallowed hard.

„Secondly... I'll expect more respect of you from now on. You'll call me 'Sir', and if you want to be treated like a good girl, you better behave like one.“

With one snap of his fingers, the force pinning you against the wall had been lifted, Crowley walked over to the bed, on which he sat down, and you didn't even know what to do with yourself for a second. That problem was solved when Crowley clearly ordered you to lay over his lap. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if he was really up to what you thought he was up to. Then you walked over to the bed as well, and did what he had asked from you, gingerly getting down on your knees and then lying onto his lap.

„ _So_ ,“ Crowley said, and then one sharply stinging slap landed on your backside. „Let's repeat that, shall we?“

You just nodded, your ass cheek still stinging. „I can't hear you.“

„Yes.“

He halted. „Yes, _what_?“ he asked.

„Yes, sir!“ you corrected yourself quickly, not really keen on any extra punishment.

„Good girl... Alright then: _you are mine,_ “ Crowley repeated, another slap hitting your ass. You clenched your teeth. „Tell me.“

„I- I'm yours,“ you said, breath hitching from the pain and shock. 

„And you won't be shared.“ _Slap._ „I won't be shared.“

„And lastly,“ and yet another one, unexpectedly early, caused you to suck in air, „What do you owe me?“

„Respect,“ you replied, and then quickly added, „Sir.“

You feared another slap would hit your bosom, but instead Crowley's hand came down softly to carress your reddened skin and lightly squeeze. „You're a quick learner. Get up, come here.“

Relief washed over you as you comprehended it was over. At the same time your burning core came to your attention, allowing you to realize just how turned on you were. You got up and Crowley's hands led you onto him, so you were straddling his lap.

You couldn't help it, your body immediately reacted to the contact, as you sat down and your soaking pussy met his bulging, still clothed erection. You were still taken aback and all flushed from the spanking you'd just received, but the burning arousal that was cooking up in your body drove you to take control back just a little.

Your arms fell around his neck and his lips found yours, claiming your mouth in a rough but more passionate kiss. Soon you started rolling your hips, grinding against him, making you both breathe harder. It wasn't even close to enough, but it felt so good and so _dirty_.

„I wouldn't let anyone else ruin my suit like that,“ Crowley breathed into you and you laughed lightly, before emmiting a low moan again.

Your hands soon rushed to his belt, but Crowley once again magically removed his clothes again. His erection was straining against your stomach and after another round of kissing, your fist slowly pumping him, you finally lined up his length with your core and pushed down slowly.

He grunted and you threw your head back at the amazing, full feeling. He was right, nobody could compare.

Rolling your hips, you gradually increased your speed. You were both impatient though, him more than you, and after a very short time of adjustment, he started pounding into you, taking your breath away at the full feeling.

You'd lost control over yourself, moaning and almost whining as he pushed deeper, when he suddenly flipped you over, hands pinning down your wrists against the bed. The added pressure of his body and the changed angle made his continuing thrusts even better.

Crowley dropped his head to your chest, lips finding your skin and nipping, sucking; his low groans rumbling through you like thunder.

„Do you want to come?“ he asked after what felt like an eternity of mind-spinning pleasure, and you could only nod feverishly in reply.

„Tell me. Tell me how much you need to come,“ Crowley growled into your ear.

Grasping all the energy and breath you could manage, you said, „I need to come, need to so badly, Crowley.“ When you didn't receive any reply, you figured he expected more of you.

„It feels like I'm on fire, and I'm _so_ close _._ I feel so full, that guy was nothing compared to you, and the way you make me feel, I-“ your breath hitched at an especially powerful thrust and it took everything to keep control and keep speaking.

„I belong to you, sir, only you,“ you brought forth, words stained with heavy breaths and occasionaly winces.

At your last words, Crowley looked up, and you couldn't help but feel a bit taken aback at the sight of his dark eyes, lust as well as danger glinting inside of them.

„Yes, love, you do. Mmmh...“ he moaned as his thrust became a bit less regular. „Good girls get to come,“ he murmured in your ear and as he pushed a few more times, getting slower as his orgasm was threateningly close but pushing in even deeper, you completely lost it.

Shock waves shot through you, your pussy clenching around Crowley's length, who was now coming as well, erratic spurts of warmth shooting into you.

Coming down from your high your were incredibly aware of his hot breath against your skin and his hands still securely wrapped around your wrists.

You felt so small in that moment, protected and yet controlled underneath the king of hell.

He pulled out and let go of your wrists, which you kept pinned to your side nevertheless, as his hands came down to quickly roam over your body. His mouth found your now very sensitive folds, and you whinced lightly as he ran his tongue along your entrance to take in your juices.

An appreciative hum told you he was definitely enjoying himself.

„Next time I'll have to appreciate your sweet taste a little more elaborately... That is if you'll be good for me.“

Your heart leapt up at the words „next time“, and you automatically replied with a quiet „yes, sir“.

His hands and mouth were off you in an instant and as he had you both dressed again simply with a snap of his fingers, he gave you one last smirk and disappeared, leaving you out of breath and in a state of mind you had never before experienced in your life.

Next time. 


	3. Remind Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has been on edge a bit. She can't help but mull over the thing with Crowley over over again in her head. But when he comes to visit, he more than makes up for her worries...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: rough sex, light bdsm, anger, fear, inadequate preparation, pain

„Maybe we should all just take a break,“ Sam reasoned, closing his laptop. You were all a little on edge. It had been a long night of frustrating reasearch as you just couldn't figure out what you were dealing with this time.

Dean had had a few beers, and you had your own reasons for being agitated, and when you started snapping at each other because of your different views on how to deal with this case, Sam found himself diplomatically interevening once again.

„It's pretty late. Let's just get some sleep and tomorrow we can figure this out.“

Sam was looking at you both with raised eyebrows.

You sighed a „good night“ and made your way to your room.

A part of you was still very annoyed – all you wanted to do was work, and now that you'd finally found a case, you were not getting anywhere. Fighting with Dean was not really helping the situation, but you couldn't help yourself. You were tired, frustrated and distracted and sometimes you just snapped and took it out on your brothers, even if you always felt guilty afterwards.

_I'm just tired, that's all._ You thought to yourself. But you knew that wasn't quite the whole truth.

For some reason you were more eager than ever before to get to work. Your mind was busy, keeping you up too long at night and making you feel incredibly stupid. Your thoughts kept darting back to Crowley. The damn king of hell.

It had been a few days since he had paid you a visit and you hadn't heard anything from him in the meantime.

_Why do I even care?_

It's not like it had ever been any different. And it's not like you were expecting anything else from the king of hell. And yet, you felt just the tiniest bit annoyed at how he seemed to show up and always demand your time and submission, whenever he felt like it. But it's not like he'd come if you called for him. You'd tried. Which made you feel even more stupid.

You didn't need him. You really didn't. Even if he made you feel so good everytime he _was_ there... Like, really good. You'd call it heavenly if that made any sense.

He always made you feel so good, you'd just forget about everything else for a while. You'd forget about any on-going hunts, you'd forget what day it was, and you'd forget about that grudge you'd held against him for days. Somehow his touches and his gravelly voice, it all made up for the moments when you'd needed _him_ and you could do nothing about it, it made up for all the days you'd doubted this whole thing, thinking about how naive you were for trusting the _king of hell, for fuck's sake._

In those moments, when his rough hands held you down and made you feel like gold, and you were so incredibly full with him – his scent, his power, his body, his dirty and yet charming words – you couldn't care less about all the things you'd thought about just ten minutes earlier.

And while sometimes you contemplated his cold demeanour, his rough touch, and the way he sometimes even really scared you – the things that made you think he really didn't care about you, and you were just some little toy in his eyes – somehow this power and dominance was exactly what turned you on most.

Most vividly replayed in your head was that one night last week, when he had shown up in your room, appeared out of thin air like he always did.

His appearance had startled you enough, but when you saw the look in his eyes you completely froze.

He didn't lose anytime. In a matter of seconds he had stalked over to your bed and gotten on top of you, his lips crashing on to yours roughly, without losing even a word.

At first you were startled and you tried to get him to stop for just a second and ask what was going on. But he wasn't having it and he just silenced you with another deep kiss, and his hands gripping your wrists.

He pinned you down forcefully, making you completely unable to move, as he ground down his hips against you. You felt him getting even harder through his clothes, and you silently moaned into his mouth as a thousand shivers travelled through your skin, caused by the friction Crowley's movements were giving you, even through the thick fabric of your shorts.

„More,“ you breathily whined into his mouth, and you knew you both needed it, when he stopped kissing you and instead started a sensual assault on your neck.

He snapped his fingers, immediately pinning your hands down with his demonic powers, so he could instead put his hands to use. You also suddenly felt the layer of fabric between you disappear and found yourself completely naked, while Crowley was still dressed.

His hands harshly found your breasts, playing with your nipples, and as you arched your back you gave him better access to your neck as well, which he quickly took advantage of. He licked along your pulse line; he sucked hard, and you knew there would be dark marks there tomorrow, the thought of which shot another rush of excitement to your core. When you felt his hot breath right by your ear, it was impossible to hold back the breathy moan that escaped your lips. All of your nerves were on fire, and he hadn't even touched you where you needed it most.

„I'm going to fuck you so hard, you will not be able to walk tomorrow,“ his low voice rang through your ears. Your breath hitched in anticipation, and then, when he looked up at you for the first time, it hitched for a whole other reason: His eyes were glowing red, but that's not what scared you most. There was a sort of burning rage in them, like you'd never seen in your life. _Something bad must have happened_ , you thought to yourself, but your thoughts were wiped away when he unzipped his trousers and freed his bulging erection.

First, he pushed a finger inside of you, then another one. You were indescribably wet, and you had the impression he felt obligated to make sure you were ready for him, but at the same time he seemed very impatient and rushed, as he pushed another finger in, much earlier than you would've expected it, and pulled it out just as quickly.

You were so out of breath, you couldn't say a word, and then he was already pushing into you, his thick cock filling you to the brim and knocking out the last little bit of air that was left in your lungs.

Something that almost sounded like a scream had escaped your mouth, as both the pleasure and the sudden pain overwhelmed you. Rapidly, Crowley's hand came down to cover your mouth and muffle your scream.

He waited a few moments for you to adjust, and bent down to murmur something into your ear. „Be quiet for me, love, we don't want your brothers to hear us, do we?“

Something about the use of the word 'love' felt so strange in this situation. He had been rough like never before, and it hurt like never before. And yet, suddenly, he was waiting for you to adjust, calling you 'love'.

„Breathe,“ he whispered then, as if he had noticed how overwhelmed you were feeling.

You pushed away your thoughts and inhaled, tried to relax, and Crowley's hand stroking along your skin helped quite a lot to calm you down.

And before you even knew it, you opened your mouth to whisper a word you had both not been expecting. „ _Move_.“

Crowley's hand lifted your chin so you'd look at him. „I'm the one to give the orders here, _understood_ , pet?“ he growled.

„Ye-yes, sir,“ you nodded. He seemed to enjoy seeing you like this, scared and completely submissive, as he was just looking at you for a moment, not moving or saying anything.

„Please, _please,_ sir,“ you begged quietly, trying hard not to make it sound like a demand.

With one last wicked look on his face, he pulled out and pushed in with full force again.

You almost screamed out, but you knew what he had asked from you and you wanted, you _needed_ to fulfill his command.

You bit your lip to keep from making any sounds, and as he kept thrusting into you again and again, you started to taste the copper aroma of blood in your mouth. As you released your lower lip, a loud moan almost escaped your mouth, but Crowley was there before it happened, kissing you again, hungrily licking away the blood you'd drawn from your lip.

Then he moved down to your body, kissing along your collarbones, and sucking dark marks into the skin above your breasts.

He then settled with his lips on your shoulders, soon bitind down hard, as if to keep himself from screaming as well.

You didn't think he could go any harder, faster, or deeper but somehow he did. He sped up, slamming into you so hard you thought you might split in half, and the pain and pleasure had just blurred into one hot feeling flooding your veins.

You fell apart, and you had no say in it. Even if you had wanted to hold back, you couldn't have. As you felt the familiar, but very intense feeling of your orgasm take over, you fought hard not to make a sound. Crowley's continuing thrusts prolonged your orgasm, and then you started to feel unbearably sensitive around your clit, but Crowley's wasn't quite done yet.

You whimpered lightly, as he kept pushing into you and after a while, his thrusts became erratic, slowing down, until you felt his warm seed filling you up.

Your body relaxed completely, and you closed your eyes for a second. When you opened them up, you met Crowley's eyes, as he was watching you curiously. You couldn't read his expression. What was he thinking? But you were too tired to wonder, and seeing his softened, calmer eyes made you feel safe. He moved down a little bit, as if he was going to kiss you, before suddenly stopping in his tracks, slipping out and getting up. As always, with a snap of his fingers, he was dressed again and disappeared without a word.

He was right: the next day you were so sore, you could barely walk. And whenever you felt the ache between your legs and all over your torso, a small smile crossed your lips.

Every second of that night was worth wearing a turtle neck for the next days, carefully covering up the bruises and bite marks around your neck, shoulder and cleavage, to avoid questions from Sam and Dean.

But secretly, sectetly, you liked to trace your fingers along those marks, being reminded of Crowley telling you that you were his, and marking you like that for the first time.

You liked knowing that even if he wasn't gonna be there for a long time, you'd always have something to remind you of the last time he was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love feedback, please let me know what you thought!


	4. So Much Better Than Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a day of surprise visits... Two actually. One's fun, the other not so much?

As much as you loved your brothers - hunting with them, living with them – the few rare times when you found yourself alone in the bunker, you reveled in the feeling of it. The quiet was nice for a change, and you were just a person who needed their alone time.

But what you really loved about it was the feeling that you could do whatever you wanted, pure freedom.

Your brothers had not told you when they'd be home exactly, but judging from Dean's call the day before, you were pretty sure they weren't gonna be back for at least another day.

So you got up that morning, not bothering to put on anything else than what you were already wearing: the shirt you'd slept in.

You made your way to the barely decorated kitchen, where you started to boil water for your daily cup of coffee.

You looked around. The three of you had resided in here for quite a whle now, and it had truly come to feel like home. But the kitchen was something else. It was so scarcely furnished, it looked as if no one had ever used it. Probably because you _did_ rarely ever use it. Many nights the three of you weren't even home, and when you were you usually just got take-out. A few mornings consisted of more than coffee and toast, but most days you were all just too involved in a case, or, to be honest, also a bit too lazy to whip up anything bigger.

But you liked the kitchen. Maybe sometime soon, you would cook something. A real dinner, just allowing your brothers and yourself one night to feel a little like a normal, happy family. You smiled at the idea. Half because you kinda liked it, and half because you couldn't really imagine ever feeling normal.

The coffee machine had stopped the soft stream and your cup was full. You took it into your hands, the warmth seeping through your skin, and even just the scent making you feel more awake immediately. You took a sip and were just going to leave the kitchen, when Crowley's familiar voice rang behind you. You nearly dropped your cup. It was too early for surprises.

„Good morning, love,“ he said, his gravelly voice making your heart race in all kinds of ways.

„What are you doing here?“ you asked, surprised to see him. It hadn't been that long, and usually he'd show up later in the day, sometimes in the middle of the night.

„Well, seeing as Squirrel and Moose are away at the moment, I just couldn't resist to hear you scream for a change.“ His eyes were glinting with the excitement of having you right there and then, scanning you from head to toe as he slowly walked towards you.

Only then you realized you were half-naked, and once again instinctive embarrassment overtook you, even though he had seen you so many times – in way more compromising positions.

„Aw, are you shy, little girl?“ The smirk on his lips told you he liked seeing you like this. Maybe it was like a challenge to him, cracking you open, scaring you, and sometimes freeing you. Liberating you from any and all confinements you'd gotten so used to.

He had closed the gap between the two of you now. His right hand swiftly removed the cup of coffee from your hand and set it onto the counter behind you.

And then his hands travelled... elsewhere.

„My coffee's gonna get cold,“ you half-heartedly complained, shivering under his intimate touch. „Oh, this is going to be so much better than coffee.“ he said softly. You smiled at his remark.

He kissed you softly at first, while his hands made their way underneath your shirt, simply running along your skin and pulling you closer to him.

You kissed him back and for a moment you felt like you were going to melt in his arms. He was so warm and held you so tightly, nothing else even existed in this moment.

Then his tongue became more intrusive (demanding an access which you granted gladly), lightly biting and pulling and _growling_ ; his hands now capturing your ass, kneading, pulling apart your flesh, fingers exploring _every_ inch.

By the time he pushed a finger into you, you were already soaking wet and out of breath, happily accepting the finally added friction. You brought up one leg around his hip, granting him easier entry, and with the hand that wasn't pumping in and out of you he grabbed your leg, allowing you to relax into the pleasure completely.

When he'd nicely stretched you out, he pulled out his fingers, making you whimper, and brought them to your mouth with the order to „clean up.“

You took his fingers into your mouth, licking off every bit of juice on it, and maybe sucking a bit more than necessary.

As you glanced up at him, his dark, lust-blown eyes met yours and after one moment of unbearable sexual tension, he moved swiftly, grabbing you around the waist and setting you down on the counter, so you were now sitting with him in between your legs. He was still a tiny inch taller than you.

You shivered at the feeling of your bare skin on the cool counter.

He pulled you close, after removing your shirt, and started peppering your chest with kisses and light bites.

He seemed to take his time today, as you were starting to get impatient and found yourself begging him for more.

„Please, Cr-“ you'd almost forgotten in the state of mind he had you in, „Sir, I need to feel you, please,“ you begged.

You could feel him smile against your skin.

It surprised you just a little, when he took your hands and guided them to his belt, which you hurriedly opened up and then you got to unzipping his pants.

As his hard cock sprung free from his trousers, you lost no time to wrap your hand around his shaft, stroking him eagerly and yet rather slowly. „Uh,“ he breathed out, his low voice sending chills all over your skin.

Besides the fact that you wanted to feel him inside of you, have him closer, you loved watching him like this. Eyes hooded, almost closed, but still watching you with that incredible, unreadable look in his eyes, mouth slightly opened to bring forth the most erotic sounds you'd ever heard. It almost seemed like he was letting go of the usual control in that moment, and he looked more beautiful than ever.

Tearing you right out of your thoughts, he suddenly moved, pulling your hand away from his aching cock, pre-cum glistening on top. You looked at him questioningly, and he just leaned in close and murmured, „Not like this... Want to fill you up, pet.“

Your heart skipped a beat and you couldn't wait any longer. „Yes, please, Sir. Please fill me up good,“ you begged and with the smallest vicious smile on his lips, he pulled you close and pushed into you at once.

A loud, breathy moan escaped your throat and Crowley immediately replied, „That's right, make some noise for me.“

That command wasn't hard to fulfill.

As he pounded into you quickly and yet very deeply, hitting that sweet spot over and over, you started to lose complete control of your body. Crowley held you up against him because you couldn't find the strength to as his movements shook through your whole body; the moans were just rolling off your tongue like butter, they were sounding more like breathy whines at this point and every now and then Crowley's name would slip out in between your heavy breathing.

His breath was very out of control as well, and he was watching you with intent, appreciation almost, but in that moment you couldn't register anything but the sparks his thrusts were sending to your core and the way he held you in his strong arms.

You didn't hear the door open, and only when Crowley suddenly pulled out and you heard shouts, you realized someone had come in. You looked up and met Sam and Dean's horrified looks.

After the initial shock you realized _I'M NAKED_ and tried to cover up as much as you could with your arm, but fortunately that problem was quickly solved when Crowley magically dressed you both again.

Your mind started racing in a thousand different reactions, as you were frozen to the spot, at loss for words or any idea on what to do. You felt extremely embarrassed and overwhelmed, and there was an unbearable tension filling the whole room. You couldn't even decide what was the worst part of this moment: The looks on your brother's faces, the fact that they'd just seen you _very_ naked, maybe that they had their guns pointing right at Crowley, or that he – now that you glanced at him – was _smiling_ , of all things.

„YOU GET AWAY FROM HER RIGHT. NOW,“ Dean growled, quickly shaking off the initial shock and instead turning it into white hot anger.

„YOU FUCKING-“ He was really screaming now, but was strangely interrupted by Crowley's calm, composed voice. „Dean, Dean... Calm down. I'd never hurt her.“

As much as you wanted to believe those words, there was a challenging grin sitting on his lips and you wondered just how much he was enjoying this – provoking 'Moose and Squirrel'.

„Remind me why I should care about any of the crap coming out of your damn mouth,“ Dean hissed, and looking into his face, you grew even more uneasy.

The look on his face had you scared he might actually pull the trigger. But what could you do? You couldn't think of anything more stupid to do in this situation than to speak out in defense of Crowley...

Dean had now seemingly calmed down – he wasn't shouting anymore, but the suppressed anger and complete hatred in his voice sent chills down your spine. It was almost worse than his shouting.

„If I _ever_ see you as much as _glancing_ at her, I swear I will not hesitate to put a bullet right through that smug fucking face.“

Crowley just smiled arrogantly, as you silently prayed for him not to do anything stupid. _Don't say anything, please_. You knew that both Dean as well as the king of hell were stubborn in their own ways, always wanting to have the last word. But in this moment, you were truly scared Dean might just follow through on his threat right here, right now.

With no more than a last smug glance, Crowley vanished, making you exhale in relief.

The momentary ease lasted no more than a few seconds, though.

Dean immediately turned towards you, rage still drawn all over his face.

It seemed to you he was trying to hold back his anger, resulting in his eyebrows being furrowed and his jaw clenching tightly as he was grasping at the right words.

„Did he- did he hurt you?“ he finally brought forth.

It took you a moment to process the question. You had expected him to shout at you, but here he was asking if you were okay. You were touched for just a second, but you knew the shouting would follow pretty soon, when you quietly replied, „no“ without even looking at him.

You had your gaze lowered, but you forced yourself to look up at him, as the expected shouts broke over you.

„WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND? YOU-“ he faltered for a second, as if trying to find the right words. He was probably trying his hardest not to repeat the scene over and over in his head. „WHEN EXACTLY DID YOU DECIDE IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TRUST A DEMON, LET ALONE THE KING OF HELL, FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!“

He was staring at you, a mixture of wild anger, but also desperation in his face. „You could've been seriously hurt, I-“

Sam had stepped closer behind him and carefully put a hand on Dean's shoulder. „She didn't, Dean. She's okay.“

You shot a thankful glance at Sam, but he didn't look at you the same either. _They're so disappointed_ , you thought to yourself and your heart sank as your mind began to race again, thinking of all the possible places you could move to. _Will they ever look at me the same again?_

Dean had turned around, running his hand over his face and setting down the gun. Sam nodded in the direction of the hallway, signalling you to go to your room. You happily obliged, escaping the uncomfortable tension in the room.

You closed the door quietly behind you, sliding down onto the floor and burrying your head in your hands.

Why had you been so careless? This whole thing with Crowley had been a bad idea from the beginning, and now you had to face the consequences of your naivete. Maybe it hadn't been more than a ticking time bomb, that had now finally gone off, leaving your whole life in shambles.

You couldn't even imagine ever leaving your room again, facing your brothers, _talking to them_. What would you say? As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that they'd seen you in that... position, you couldn't think of a worse person to have done this with.

They had told you, repeatedly, to stay away from Crowley. That he was no good. And there you went, doing the exact opposite of what they'd told you. _They must be so disappointed... they just wanted to keep me safe._

Your mind jumped back to the whole scene. As shame washed deeper and deeper into you, you couldn't help but think about Crowley's words, and his _looks..._ The way he acted, it seemed as if it was all just a game to him. As if _you_ were just a game to him.

A cute little puppet whose strings to pull to keep him from boredom, someone he could have his way with...

Maybe your brothers had been right all along. _Maybe? He's the king of hell, for fuck's sake. How stupid can you be for trusting him?_

You sighed, fighting back tears as your mind helplessly replayed scene after scene of the last weeks.

You felt so many things. But through all the fear of what would happen next, and whether your brothers would ever talk to you again, you felt angry. Angry and hurt about how Crowley had toyed with you again and again. Angry at yourself for being so naive and thinking maybe there was more to it.

You got into bed, hoping sleep would take you far away from this nightmare, but it was a lost cause and you spent most of the night turning and tossing to no relent, only to find relief in horribly ephemeral dozes.

 


	5. Unravel Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After hours of trying to sleep, the reader decides to get up. When Crowley shows up, she doesn't know what to think or feel anymore. When he leaves, she's completely out of breath.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Violence, physical violence, choking, fear, pain
> 
> Read the note at the end.

_Breathe in, breathe out. Stop thinking. Stop thinking, goddamnit!_

You turned again, trying to find a more comfortable position. You hadn't been able to sleep much all night, just occasionally drifting off, and even those short 'rests' were riddled with bad dreams.

After hours of trying to sleep, tossing and turning hopelessly, you gave up, throwing aside your blanket and glancing at the alarm clock on your night stand. Its digits read 4:15am, glowing in a bright red light. With a sigh you got up.

As quietly as possible, you opened up the door to the hallway and made your way to the kitchen. The bottle of whiskey that had been standing around – which was more Dean's than anyone else's, as he drank the most of you three – was nowhere to be found.

Next, you went into the living room, where your eyes immediately found the bottle, standing on the dinner table.

There wasn't much left, even though yesterday it had been almost half full. That's all it took for a new wave of guilt ot wash over you, as you pictured Dean sitting there, emptying glass after flass to chase away the frustration and anger about the mess _you_ 'd made.

You sighed, opened the bottle and drank straight from it, pulling a face as the alcohol burned your throat on its way down.

It had often helped you sleep and at the moment there was nothing you wanted more than to get a break from your busy, worried mind.

So you took the bottle with you as you silently walked back to your room.

You closed the door carefully behind you, turned around and- _oh my god._

Crowley was standing right in front of you, scaring you more than he ever had before with any of his 'surprise visits'.

Closing your eyes, you inhaled deeply, wanting your heart to calm down.

After a moment, you spit out, „You have a lot of nerve, showing up here after _everything_ you've done.“

Crowley's eyes narrowed a bit and he cocked his head curiously. „What _I'_ ve done?“ he asked sharply. „I'm pretty sure if you're looking to put blame on somebody, it's the guys upstairs for once.“

You just stared at him, not sure what to say or what to feel anymore. This whole blizzard of emotions inside of you was not easy to decipher, but there definitely was one clear feeling standing out. You felt the anger rise into your chest again, as you coldly asked, „What are you doing here, Crowley?“

At your question, the demon showed a twisted kind of smile as he stepped closer. „I felt like we had some... unfinished business.“

His few words brought a sick feeling to your stomach, as you imagined letting him get close again, as if nothing had happened; him toying with you, having his way with you like he had so many times. _Not this time._

Crowley had brought up his hand to lightly, but possessively stroke your cheek, a gesture so affectionate it hurt to like it. You knew it was just a game.

„Get off of me,“ you said, an intensity in your voice that made it clear you wanted to shout but didn't want your brothers to hear you. That you wanted to scream your lungs out, but you did not want to give him the satisfaction of falling apart right there in front of him, angry tears already welling up in your eyes. While you said it you pushed him away with all the force you could muster, and of course the result was almost a joke. He stumbled back lightly, but that was it – in no dimension were you a match for his power.

His face fell. At once, the illusion of affection had slipped from his face, eyes filling with something that scared you to death.

„ _What exactly,“_ Crowley started pointedly, suddenly moving towards you and pinning you against the wall with his right hand on your throat. You immediately felt your breathways close and panic rose to your chest.

„ _Made you think,_ “ he continued.

His grip tightened and you brought your hand up to his, trying your hardest to pull it off, but he was too strong.

„ _that you could“_

He had you almost lifted off the ground, your head tilted back under his grip. Not breathing felt impossible as your body tried to fight his hold on you, but breathing felt just as impossible in this moment. _Is this it?_ You quietly wondered to yourself.

„ _Say“_

His grip now got stronger with every word and it hurt like hell, you weren't sure – if he'd let you go – whether you'd even be able to breathe again at all. You closed your eyes as the tears that had been waiting right behind the floodgates started to spill out of your eyes, silently rolling down your cheeks, as you hoped this would be over quickly.

„No _to me?“_

Crowley stared at you, the coldness and yet all the rage in his eyes making him look almost insane.

For a moment he just froze, staring at you like this, when suddenly he let you go, stepping back quickly.

You slid onto the floor, your knees giving up underneath you, as your lungs suddenly filled themselves with air again. The pain you felt as you inhaled was incredible, but it was so much better than not breathing.

As you were staring up at him, your eyes full of tears and your whole body in shock, you weren't sure what you were seeing.

For a moment you weren't even scared of him, all you felt was confusion, and of course pain.

Was it fear? Was it pain? There was something in his eyes you'd never seen before and he just stood there, hands shaking before he disappeared again with a soft _whoosh_.

At first you just sat there, frozen to the spot, unable to move. Slowly, your mind started to work again and you regained control of your body. Simultaneously you felt your chest start to shake, and you couldn't hold it back when you started to sob and cry, as if this wasn't in your control at all.

Burrying your head in your hands you wept until it seemed there was no more water left for your body to turn into tears.

Finally, after what felt like hours, you got up.

There were shards of glasses scattered all over the floor, as you realized when you pushed yourself off the ground and something sharp cut into your skin. You must have dropped the bottle of whiskey at some point. You couldn't remember when, and it didn't matter.

You got on your knees to collect the broken pieces and throw them into trash, getting quite a few more cuts on your hands and knees. Finally you'd disposed of it all and you sank into bed without even thinking about cleaning the cuts on your hands.

Lastly you closed your eyes and drifted off into an exhausting kind of sleep for just a few hours.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU MIGHT HATE ME RIGHT NOW. IT'S FAIR, OKAY  
> But LISTEN: I like angst as a part of dynamics and drama, but I don't write purely angsty stories that end in utterly sad shit. So don't worry, okay?  
> ALSO: believe me when I say it'll pay off.
> 
> And I truly apologize for the wording in the chapter summary... it came to me and I kinda hate myself for it especially because it could be interpreted in a lot of ways and then... this happens. But I'm un-funny like that. So, yeah. Bye see ya soon


	6. Mind Made Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the... incident with Crowley, the reader wakes up and makes sure her brothers don't suspect anything. As much as she tries to avoid it, the confrontation with Dean is inescapable.

_Oh, god, it hurts._

As you woke up, you became aware of all the pain in your body. Your hands and your knees hurt, and a general exhaustion had settled into your body, every muscle, your ribs, your head aching with every breath. But nothing as was bad as your throat, and the pulsing pain which was especially bad when you tried to swallow.

You sat up, almost paralyzed for a few seconds as last night's memories came back to you.

You forced them out of your mind as you saw your hands, full of little cuts, and you thought: _now isn't the time for a melt-down_.

First, you opened your closet, rummaging through your sweaters, and then finding a turtleneck that you hadn't worn since... that one time with Crowley, when the bruises and hickeys had been too big and too numerous to cover up any other way. Your heart stung a bit at the thought of how different that scenario had been. How different the bruises had felt.

In the act of taking off the shirt you'd slept in, you glanced at yourself in the mirror, stopping in your tracks for a moment. The bruising was immense. You'd never seen anything like it.

There were... bruises, faintly in the shape of Crowley's fingers on your neck. You softly traced your fingers along the purple markings, whincing slightly at the pain your touch caused.

You tore away your eyes from the mirror, pulled on the turtleneck and breathed in deeply.

Cautiously opening the door and checking outside to make sure no one was out there, you snuck over to the bathroom and got out the first aid kit.

You had quickly cleaned all the wounds on your hands and knees, desinfected them and put back everything where it belonged.

Next, you got the broom, quickly taking care of the little pieces of glass you had missed last night.

When it was all done, you sat on your bed, looking around.

_What now?_

You thought about it: the next logical step to ensure your brothers weren't going to suspect anything being wrong, would be to go out there, get yourself a cup of coffee and pretend it was a morning like any other.

Except it wasn't.

You couldn't imagine going out there and facing them, talking to them. What would they say? Would they even talk to you, acknowledge you? The prospect of staying in your room and not confronting this whole big mess seemed a lot more pleasant.

But the choice was taken from you, as the door to your room opened slowly and you saw Sam peeking in, his eyebrows raised as if not sure yet whether you were still asleep.

As he laid eyes on you, he opened the door, stood up straight and brought forth an awkward, "Uh, hi."

You had not expected this, you had considered the possibility of them never talking to you again, and here he was, knocking on your door, talking to you.

"I was just wondering if you were hungry, uh, I'm gonna go grab some lunch – do you want anything?"

 _Lunch?_ You glanced over at your alarm clock and found that it was already almost one pm.

"Uh, yeah," you said, your voice coming out as a croak more than anything else. Pain accompanied the feeble attempt at speaking, and you were just as surprised as Sam was.

"What's wrong with your voice? Are you okay?" he asked, a worried look on his face.

You hadn't thought of this as a possible result of the... the bruise. Hell, you hadn't thought at all. But this was about to blow your cover and so you quickly composed yourself and replied, with all the effort you could muster, "Oh, I just have a sore throat. Slept really badly, hope I'm not getting sick."

Sam nodded pityfully, and it broke your heart that you were lying to him. He was only ever trying to be there for you.

"So?"

"Oh right, yeah, uhm... A veggie burger and some fries?"

"Alright," Sam nodded and he was about to close the door, when you added, "And some onion rings?"

He just smiled and left, while you realized just how hungry you were.

You sat there for another while, but not only were you getting bored within these four walls, you also started to realize how dehydrated you were.

Stepping into the kitchen, everything was silent. You filled up a glass of water, gulping it down quickly. After filling another one, you walked back towards the hallway, thinking about whether you should just retreat back to your room, or go and read in the library for a while as you were starting to really crave a change of scenery.

Just as you stepped out of the kitchen, you saw Dean standing in the hallway, looking at you.

Your heart dropped. You weren't ready for this, for whatever it was he had to say to you.

"We've got a case."

Well, _that_ was the last thing you'd expected.

"We're leaving this afternoon. Sam and me."

Without even knowing what you wanted to say, you opened your mouth as if to object to his ruling.

"You're gonna take a _break_ from hunting. Three weeks." The way he pronounced the word 'break' you knew it actually meant something like 'You're grounded'.

"That's ridiculous!" you complained, your voice once again no more than a throaty shout. "You can't tell me what to do!"

He looked at you, anger now replacing coldness in the creases of his face.

"Oh, really? If you're not gonna listen to us when we're just trying to protect you, how could I trust you on a hunt? I _can_ tell you what to do since you've been acting like a fucking child!"

His shout rang through the halls as you stared at him in anger, but you didn't say anything. Instead you just turned around, and walked away, into the library where you settled down behind a bunch of shelves, hidden from the view if one stood in the door frame.

This was not fair. Not. Fair.

Okay, you had been stupid. You'd been naive. But nothing too bad had happened. It was over and you – you hadn't _really_ been hurt and you had realized your mistake, you really had. But this had nothing to do with the job. Taking his anger out on you this way was just not fair, you'd always been good on hunts, and they could trust you and Dean knew that.

But this was pointless. Arguing with him was pointless. Once Dean makes up his mind, you don't really have a say in it anymore.

 


	7. So Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's left fuming about Dean's decision and thinking about everything, but none of it matters when Sam calls all out of breath and the reader gets scared she might not get to apologize to Dean - ever again.

„Y/N?“

„I know you're in here,“ you heard Sam call. Looking through the shelves you got a glimpse of him standing by the entrance of the library. You sighed to yourself, unsure of what to do. You really, _really_ didn't want to talk to anyone. But it was Sam, and he was here, the tone of his voice telling you he just wanted to help. And he had _food._

He was just about to turn around and leave, when you spoke a small, „I'm here.“

It took him a moment to realize where your voice had come from. Then he walked towards you, stepped behind the shelves and there he was, looking down at you with a sigh.

„Here.“ He held the brown bag towards you and you took it, thanking him quietly.

After hesitating for a moment, he sat down beside you.

„How are you?“ he asked. You didn't reply. You were still angry, even if the smell of fresh, still rather warm fries made it harder.

„I guess... you talked to Dean?“

Sighing, you decided it was better to communicate with Sam.

„'He talked at me' is probably a better description of the conversation we had.“

He sighed.

You looked up. „I can't believe you two. This- this is completely unfair. The job has nothing to do with it.“

He just looked at you. „Yeah... Well. I guess you should just be glad I talked him down. If it were up to him, I think he'd rather not have put a time limit to this punishment at all.“

You just frowned. You wanted to be angry. But you knew Sam was right.

He got up, smiling a weak smile at you and before he left you said, „Thanks, Sam. Will you come say goodbye before you leave?“

He nodded and left you to your meal. Digging into the heap of fries, before biting into the delicious, savoury juiciness that burger was – it was the first time since yesterday you felt kinda okay for just one moment.

\- - -

It had been five days since Sam and Dean had left for the case. Five days of emptiness. It wasn't pleasant tip-toeing around Dean and hiding your bruises and so on, so there was something good to them being away. But you were bored and your mind wouldn't shut up for even five minutes at a time, and honestly, all you wanted was to work. To get your mind off things.

You read a lot, did research. But it felt kinda pointless and wasn't enough to keep you distracted.

Until one day you got a call. It was Sam, and he didn't sound good.

„Sam?“ you picked up the phone upon seeing the caller was him.

„Y/N, you- you need to do something,“ he said quickly, as if he was running out of time. The connection was horrible, leaving you to decipher quite a bit of what he was saying.

„What's going on, are you okay?“ you asked urgently, worry overcoming you.

„I- I am, Dean he-“

„What? Is he okay?“ you almost shouted into your phone. Your voice had healed up, only feeling slightly sore every once in a while now.

„He- I, I don't know,“ Sam said and the worry in his voice made your stomach drop about ten levels.

For just a moment there was silence, a space which was filled with fear that you both felt.

„I need you to look something up. This spell-“ You were already in the library, as you spent most of your solitary days there, but you just about jumped up and ran to the shelves looking for what Sam had just described to you.

„Okay, okay- I'll get back to you as soon as I-“

The line was cut and you froze. Where were they? What had happened? You couldn't help but play out the worst cases in your mind, thinking of Dean dying – dying because of this whole mess you'd started.

 _No,_ you told yourself, _you're not going to let him_. His last hope was you. You scanned one book after another, and after about half an hour of searching you finally found the spell – it was in an old book about some of the darkest magic in witchcraft.

As you translated the words, one after another, you slowly gained understanding of what this was going to do to Dean if you wouldn't come up with a solution real quick. It wasn't pretty. You had just about enough after reading about how it would tear you apart starting from the inside until there was nothing but shreds left of you – you skipped a few lines and your hands shook in anticipation as you tried to find the cure.

When you got to the end of the page and there was nothing else about the spell, your heart just stopped for a second. _No, no, no._ This couldn't be it, there had to be something else!

But you were finally able to breathe again when you discovered handwriting in the corner of the next page. It was so small, you had almost overlooked it.

After quickly deciphering it and thanking whoever had written this in there, you dialled Sam's number. _Please, pick up._

„Y/N?“

„Sam! Sam, I found it. I found how to reverse it!“ you breathed into the phone. „Oh, thank god,“ he replied.

„You'll need blood of the witch who put the spell on him,“ you heard Sam curse under his breath. „Are you- did you-“ you were starting but he quickly said, „No, no, she's alive, I can do it, I just- Okay, what else?“ You listed the ingredients, and fortunately it wasn't a very long list and Sam found everything in the trunk of the impala.

„Please, please let me know how it goes,“ you said and he told you he would. You quickly hung up, knowing they didn't have much time left.

Sitting there and waiting for Sam's call was the worst feeling in the world. Nothing you'd gone through came even close to it, as you kept thinking: _what if_? The last words you and Dean had exchanged were burned into your mind. _This can't be it, he can't die._

You counted the minutes, praying for Sam to find that witch and burn her alive after getting her blood.

When the phone rang you flinched, and picked up with shaking hands.

„Sam?“

„I did it. It's okay, Dean's okay.“

Again, that pause, filled with all the things you were both too scared to say aloud but knew the other felt, as well.

„Thank you, don't know what I would've done without you,“ he said and you just nooded, feeling tears of relief coming on.

„When will you be back?“ you asked.

„I think it's best for Dean to get some rest, but we should be able to leave tomorrow morning, he can sleep some more in the car.“

„Okay.“

„See you tomorrow. Get some sleep.“

You nodded to yourself, knowing that wasn't very realistic.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better times are ahead, SOON! (Aka don't worry, smut is on the waaay!) And our favorite king is joining the scene again as well.


	8. Darkest Before the Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean are back. The reader couldn't be more relieved, and now that she realizes what she could have lost, all she wants to do is apologize, get back to normal. But is there really a 'normal' for the Winchesters?

You didn't know when, but at some point you'd drifted off. When a hand sotfly shook your shoulder, you awakened, completely disoriented.

Last night's drink was still standing in front of you, not quite empty. A ridiculous amount of open books were spread out on the desk, reminding you of what had happened the day before.

You looked up, Sam was smiling at you and you immediately shot up, gave him a very quick hug to then turn around in search of Dean. You didn't have to look long as he was strolling along the corridor towards the library.

„Dean,“ you said, and you found yourself hurrying towards him and, once you'd reached him, throwing your arms around him without any hesitation.

It took him a moment to hug you back, probably surprised about your reaction as you'd been pretty pissed at him the last time you'd seen each other.

„I'm so glad you're okay,“ you said, feeling your chest shake just a little.

„Yeah... Me too,“ he replied, a chuckle in his voice. „Couldn't have made it without your help.“

You broke the embrace to look at him. „I'm sorry,“ you said, not knowing what had come over you. „I'm so sorry. I know you were just trying to protect me and- and you were right all along.“

He was surprised to hear those words, but happy nevertheless. He just pulled you into another short hug before turning around and walking back towards the kitchen.

„I could eat a horse right now,“ he shouted back at you and you smiled at his remark. Sam caught up with you two and you lost no time to start debating what lunch should be.

For some reason you really wanted pizza. Sam wanted Chinese, Dean didn't really care, he just wanted _something_.

You were incredibly happy that they were acting normal again – almost, at least. Of course you had missed it but only now you realized just how much.

Yet you couldn't help wondering, if this meant Dean had forgiven you... There was the burning question resting under your tongue on whether you could work again. But you weren't gonna ruin this moment of peace to ask that question.

You didn't need to. One week later – when Dean had definitely done enough resting, as he kept complaining – you found a case. It looked like vampires, but further investigation was certainly necessary.

„I say we leave in an hour; we can make it by nightfall,“ Dean said. Sam wasn't too happy but he wasn't going to try and convince Dean about waiting a few more days, it was clearly a losing fight.

„Y/N, don't forget your silver bullet gun,“ Dean said in a by-the-way-tone and your heart leapt up in excitement as you realized what he had just said.

You lost no time to get ready as you could not wait to get back to work; get on the road and your mind off of... _everything_.

Soon the gentle humming of the impala was helping you relax in the backseat as your brothers occasionally talked about the case, other times just listened to the rock music blaring through the car.

Arriving at the motel you were going to stay at, you decided to quickly go over the most important things.

„So, it looks like the disappearances have been mostly young women... Many of them were last seen in this sketchy bar nearby. I bet your ass that's where some of those creeps go to find their next victims,“ Dean explained.

You nodded as you thought about it. You'd have to go and talk to the sheriff the next day, as well as check out the autopsy results and so on, just to make sure you were really dealing with vamps; and maybe you'd find some useful information along the way.

But the three of you decided to head out and visit that bar, for one just to see if you'd notice anything out of the ordinary, and also to wind down with a drink after the long car ride.

The night seemed uneventful – _Fine by me,_ you thought to yourself as you all sat down with a drink each. It was just good to be out here, back to the job. You sipped on your Gin Tonic, immediately relaxing, and plunged into thought about the last few days.

There hadn't been one night without a drink in your hands in weeks, you realized. It just made sleeping and switching off your mind a bit more possible. _Maybe I won't need that anymore._ You now had the job back, which should be enough to give your mind a break as well as exhaust you in ways that would make it nearly impossible _not_ to fall into bed at night and welcome sleep with open arms. Maybe it would make the bad dreams stop.

Yet you loved the feeling of a drink in your hand, the familiarity of it, the only constant in your life lately. The immediate relaxation it evoked and the general feeling of control, that you could do something, _anything_ to fight back the bad stuff, that feeling was almost addictive.

You were pulled out of your thoughts, when something caught your eye. _Someone,_ to be exact.

A broad-shouldered guy with a dark hair and a light scruff was standing in the corner of the bar, obviously making a move on a young woman. This could have been a hook-up like any other, but something about it felt off to you.

The woman seemed consenting enough, though on the second look you realized that she was rather unsteady on her feet, and if it wasn't for the taller man's grip, she wouldn't have been able to hold herself up or walk straight.

That would have been alarming enough – someone trying to make a move on her when she was in that state, but you just knew there was more to it, the whole thing just fit too well.

They were slowly making their way towards the exit, and when you nudged your brother's arms and motioned them towards what you were seeing, their reaction was a quick emptying of their glasses as if they'd decided it was time to call it a night.

You did the same, trying to suppress a grimace as the bitter and stinging taste of the alcohol ran down your throat.

The three of you got up casually after the couple had left the bar, and you strolled out, not to attract unwanted attention.

Seeing the couple walk down an alley, you reverted to your hunter's stance though, quietly sneaking after them, weapons just about ready to access quickly if needed.

Hiding behind the corner, you were just able to catch a short glimpse at them. At first it seemed like they were just two people getting it on in a dark alley.

But it was pretty sketchy that he had led her here, not a very residential area, and warehouses were never a good sign. Through looks you and your brothers were silently debating whether you should barge in now, risking scaring off two innocent people who really were just getting it on in a dark alley, but your thought process was cut off, when you heard the woman's high-pitched scream.

The three of you lost no time to break into a run.

Dean immediately attacked the vampire, who was merely slowed by Dean's stab at him. Meanwhile you and Sam guided the woman to sit on the ground; she was alive, but the bite on her neck looked bad – however, now was not the time to figure out just _how_ bad or to get out a first aid kit, because a door to the warehouse opened, another vampire coming right at you. You got out your gun, and aimed. _Headshot._ „Nice,“ Dean muttered next to you, pretty out of breath.

He'd finished that first vamp but was now pulled into another fight when a whole group of vampire reinforcement emerged from the warehouse.

You couldn't keep track as you got out your machete, fighting two vamps at once. One was a pretty young woman, a redhead. You felt sorry as you beheaded her.

More and more of them had joined the scene, as you were fighting and you realized you were completely surrounded. It was the last thing you registered before a sharp pain overtook your side, and your mind slithered into darkness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, the next chapter will be up soon cause I can't wait for this thing to unfold. (And for Crowley to be back.)


	9. Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she wakes up, the reader is disoriented... She can't help but think about this picture in her mind again and again. Is it a dream or a memory?  
> Sure enough, she will find out, as Crowley shows up again in the middle of the night and for once, doesn't feel like leaving.

Green... There was a lot of green outside of the window, rushing by.

The gentle humming of the impala soon calmed you from your initial bewilderment, waking up utterly lost in time and place.

As you opened your eyes wider your brothers came into focus, sitting in the front, Dean's hands tense on the wheel.

„Hey,“ you said, your voice barely co-operating on the first try.

Sam and Dean both immediately glanced up into the rearview mirror.

„Hey,“ Sam said softly, as if talking to a deer he did not want to scare away.

„How are you feeling?“

Slowly but surely the pain in your side had started to pulse again, so you just sarcastically shrugged your shoulders and replied, „Fantastic.“

Sam just raised his eyebrows, a faint smile on his lips. He looked exhausted.

„What happened?“ you asked before he could say anything else.

„There were too many... One of them, uh, one of them got you. But somehow we fought them off, got them all and then we found you, tied up in the warehouse...“ Sam explained, trailing off at the end with a thoughtful look on his face.

„What?“ you asked. „Nothing, I just- I could've sworn I saw that guy take you _away_ from the warehouse... But he maybe he took a back entrance or something.“

„Anyway,“ Dean interrupted. „We got those assholes. There was actually a whole other group in a second place, but it was a pretty quick affair... They had a whole breeding station there, those sick fucks,“ he added, staring out at the road in disgust as the thought back to what they'd seen.

You remembered the girl you'd killed, and the regret you'd felt. And there had been many more like her. It was horrible and you were sorry Dean had had to see that – he was actually often pretty affected by things like that. Maybe it was the part of him that felt like he was supposed to save everyone.

„I'm glad you got them,“ you simply said and Dean replied with a small nod.

You adjusted your position in the seat, instantly causing a burst of pain to shoot through your torso. „Ah,“ you groaned and Sam looked back at you in compassion.

„He got you pretty bad there,“ Dean said. „Nothing too serious, but you'll need a bit of time to heal.“

You looked at him, scared of what he might be indicating.

„You're not- gonna make me take a 'break' again, are you?“

He smiled a bit at your question.

„Don't get me wrong, I'd love to keep you away from this. But we all know that's not an option. For any of us. If it was that easy we wouldn't be here now.“ When he saw your face, still doubtful, he added, „Look, that could've been any of us. It wasn't your fault.“

You nodded.

The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet, probably because Dean thought you needed that. You kept drifting off to sleep; your dreams were a big confusing blend of the last hours; mainly it was made up of haunting little girls who wanted to eat you alive, and – strangely – moments of you being tied up, carried around, and... and there was Crowley. It was short, and all you could really register was him standing there for a moment, watching you as you sat there, tied up on the chair in the middle of the warehouse.

You woke up with a gasp, quickly assuring your brothers „just bad dreams“ when they looked at you curiously. They didn't question that. They knew what 'bad dreams' meant too well, themselves.

That dream felt like a flashback. But it didn't make sense. You didn't really remember anything, you were unconscious as your brothers had told you. Maybe a few vague patches... Being stabbed, tied up, carried around... Crowley. Was it just a dream? Was it a memory?

If it was, why would he have been there? Why in the world would he just stand there, watching you, when you were clearly in need of help – tied up in a nest of vamps, bleeding and unconscious.

A silent rage crept into your chest as you thought about it, but you stopped yourself. _I don't know if any of this is actually real._ Getting so worked up about this was completely unreasonable.

„Y/N, you want something?“ Sam interrupted your thoughts. You'd stopped in a drive through. „You should really eat something.“

You nodded, he ordered for you and the rest of the car ride wasn't very long anymore. You didn't have a lot of appetite but you knew you needed to eat, so you did. Half of it, anyway.

When you got home, you couldn't help but have a drink, muttering something like „for the pain“ when your brothers looked at you a bit curiously. Inwardly you rolled your eyes at them. How much you drank was none of their business.

You exhaled loudly, as you finally got into bed. The comfort was wonderful. However, after falling asleep, it didn't keep the dreams away.

Once again you were hauled into a dimension made up of your biggest fears, laced with bits and pieces of your life taken out of context. The main theme of this night was watching Dean as he got torn apart alive by a bunch of vampires. Sitting there you couldn't do anything, your hands tied to the chair, Crowley standing behind you and simply watching with a twisted smile on his face. His hands, softly carressing your shoulders, travelled towards your throat, getting tighter and tighter, as you sat there unable to do anything.

In a cold sweat, you rushed up, the pain of your wound shooting through you at the sudden movement. Your breathing was out of control, when suddenly, after adjusting to the darkness, your eyes made out a silhouette in the dark. As if going from a 100 to 0, your breathing suddenly nearly stopped as you stared ahead at Crowley.

He was just standing there, but judging from the other time you'd caught him in your room you were sure he'd just vanish again right away.

„Wait,“ you said, not exactly knowing why you would want him to stay.

But you needed to know, you _needed_ to know whether this recurring dream was real or not.

„Bad dreams?“ he said, his accent piercing your heart; you hadn't heard his voice in weeks.

„I don't know if they're dreams,“ you said coldly.

He didn't reply. He just stared at you. There was a faint smile sitting on his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes.

You knew. From the way he was simply looking at you, you knew.

„Why,“ you whispered, swallowing hard. „Why would you-“ your voice broke, as you felt your throat tighten and tears well up. You hated it. You hated that you were reacting like this, that you cared so much about _him_ , and you were determined to fight through this and not let him see you fall apart again.

„Why would you just stand there – leave me there, tied down, I-“ your voice broke again and you stopped. You didn't know what exactly you wanted to say or ask, and you realized just how stupid you were sounding. Why would he care? Why would he suddenly care?

„I don't even know why I'm asking you this, it's not like you've ever given a shit about me in the first place,“ you spat out, just about fed up with him standing there and looking at you like that. Again that damn look you just couldn't decipher.

„Matter of fact, _darling_ ,“ his calm voice filled the room, „I was the one who saved you.“

_What?_ You stared at him, part of you was confused, part of you at the brink of uncontrollable anger, and mostly you just wanted to laugh at the absurdity of what he was saying.

„I knew more about the affair than you might think. So, when that _piece_ of-“ anger rashly overtook his features, but he quickly composed himself. „When he took you, I was sure to show him to an adequate end, before bringing you back to that warehouse and tying you up. Made it look like it was the vamps so your _very_ trusting brothers wouldn't suspect anything, because, as you know, Dean has made it pretty clear he does not want me anywhere near you. Which I don't find very reasonable but- nevermind. I made sure your brothers would find you, then left.“

He had finished his monologue and you didn't know what to say. He was standing a few feet away from you, hands in the pockets of his elegant black coat, face unreadable. But there was none of that anger or righteousness you'd seen in his expression so often. He just looked tired.

_He could be lying_ , you said to yourself. _This might just be another part of his game._

But as much as you believed you _should_ mistrust him, in that moment you just gave up.

You felt your eyes burn with the hint of tears, but you tried your very best to hold them back, to look him in the eyes and keep it together. „Why,“ you started, your voice small and broken, „would you do that? You've never- never seemed to care, at all.“

You didn't know if this was maybe just you being messed up, hopelessly manipulated into his game, but as the first sob tore through your chest, you realized just how much you _wanted_ to believe him.

You _wanted_ him to care, to be there. You wanted what you had had to be real.

Tears were now flowing freely and abundantly. You hated the feeling of crying in front of other people. It made you feel so vulnerable and small. You brought up your hands to cover your face and you kept crying, unable to stop yourself. It's like something inside you you'd been working so hard to keep together had just broken apart now and there was nothing you could do to keep it all from spilling out. With every harsh intake of breath, your side hurt and that only made it worse.

You hadn't even noticed him moving closer, but suddenly he was there, next to you, sitting on the edge of your bed. With his hands he covered yours to bring them down, stop you from hiding yourself away. At first you resisted, not wanting him to take your hands or make you look at him, but then you gave up and he held your fists to his lips, kissing them softly, now speaking against your skin.

„Oh, love. Of course I care. I apologize if that wasn't clear, but I care about you a whole lot. Too much for my own good at times...“

He trailed off, leaving you to only wonder what he meant by that.

It took you a while but when your sobs became less frequent and you managed to breathe a bit more again, you finally made yourself look up at him. He was looking at you with patience, and there was that look in his eyes... compassion? Or was it pity? It did look like he cared.

Slowly, almost not to scare you, he leaned in and at last looking down at you through hooded eyes and then closing them, planted a soft, gentle kiss on your lips. A warmth flooded through you that reminded you just how much you had missed him, his touch.

You kissed him back, reluctantly at first, but he wasn't demanding. He'd never kissed you like this, so tenderly and slowly, waiting for you to tell him what you wanted.

He'd let go of your hands, instead running them up your arms, gently placing one on your cheek.

Your last sobs died down as you calmed completely in his arms. The kiss wasn't fast or rough, but when you pulled apart slightly, you felt almost dizzy. You caught your breath as you looked up at him, meeting his cool hazel eyes.

At once, you pulled him close, and as he hesitantly put his arms around your waist, carefully not to touch your wound, allowing the embrace, you burried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his smell. It was scotch, a probably very expensive cologne and a light trace of sulfur. Somehow, there was something about him that smelled like a fire. The scent made you feel calm and safe for some reason, and you nearly melted as he held you close, mindlessly running his fingers up and down your spine.

„I missed you,“ you muttered into his skin. You thought you heard a smile in his voice as he said, „I missed you too.“ Maybe you just imagined it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe.
> 
> On another note: I just couldn't wait to post this because I loved writing it and I think it's time you got Crowley back yada yada yada. So maybe I'll wait a few days before I post the next chapter so I can catch up with writing again and don't leave you hanging for too long after chapter 10.


	10. Just How Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley's there for her like he's never been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. A really, really long, rewarding chapter full of smut. Welcome back. Enjoy.

Breathing had not been this easy in a long time. Moreover, you had not been as aware of your breathing as you were in this moment, lost in Crowley's embrace. For the first time in days, weeks, you felt like you were really here again. Awake. Not constantly thinking over things you couldn't change, or wondering about what it all meant, nor haunted by the nightmares you couldn't banish.

You were just _there._

And so was Crowley.

Oh, how you had missed his touch. His hands claiming you, holding you, his warm scent intoxicating you. Now he was so close again...

Your face had already been burried in the crook of his neck, so you shifted only slightly for your lips to find his skin, setting down soft kisses onto it. You felt him shift beneath you as well, his arms pulling you in closer – if that was even possible – and chuckling lightly at your playful bite, a sound that rumbled through your whole body, making your heart ache.

You planted kisses along his jaw, the stubble prickling pleasantly on your lips. Then your mouth travelled to his ear; you breathed lightly and nibbed on his earlobe, causing him to emit a low moan.

This was amazing. Touching him, taking your time to explore every inch of skin, hearing him react to your touches, knowing that he was coming undone just for _you._

His hands slipped under your shirt, intensely stroking your back as you kept teasing him with your lips. Finally, he lifted you up slightly to set you back down so you were straddling him, a leg on each side of him.

Now and then you felt your side hurt with certain movements, but you couldn't care less in that moment. You wanted him. You _needed_ him.

Your lips hungrily found his and this time the kiss was more intense, your tongues circling around each other passionately. He lifted up your shirt and you helped him get you out of it. He pulled closer again immediately, this time his lips settling on your neck, trailing kisses down until he reached your collarbone, then – as you leaned back a little to grant him better access – finally enclosing his lips around your nipple, his tongue flicking and his teeth grasping.

Your hands were in his hair, by his neck, lightly running your fingers through it.

„Crowley,“ you sighed and he smiled into your skin. He looked up, and the view of him against your skin, his eyes full of lust and adoration were too much for you to handle.

Underneath you, his erection was evident, hard and straining in between all the fabric.

Not losing eye contact, you ground down against his length, and Crowley breathed out loudly in reply.

„Aren't your trousers a little tight?“ You asked quietly and playfully as your hands found his zipper and got out his pink, aching cock.

You again moved against him, your still clothed pussy making contact with his length, grinding back and forth, feeling Crowley's grip tighten on your skin with every movement.

There was nothing hotter than feeling just how hard he was for you, and how much he wanted you, his hands holding on tightly. You moaned softly as you circled your hips.

You'd never get tired of watching his face: his mouth slightly open, chest rising and sinking with his quickened breath.

It was not a whole lot but the friction you got from the movement got you riled up as well...

You halted your movement and looked at him. „ _Please_ ,“ was all you could muster at that moment, but he knew you needed more.

„I've got you, love,“ he said, his voice so beautiful and low, and he laid you down on your back, swiftly moving over you.

Once again he spared himself the undressing and just snapped his fingers, getting you both naked. Undressing could be an erotic act, but in this moment you were glad to just get things out of the way.

You were even happier when Crowley's tongue found your pussy.

Exhaling in pleasure, you arched your back, a bit surprised at the sudden touch. Every little breath he brought forth, every lick and every smile shot electric shocks up your spine.

For a moment you breathed out in strain, as another especially bad surge of pain burst through you. Crowley looked up at you and you whispered, „ _Don't stop._ “

He brought one hand up to lay over your bandaged wound, and somehow the warmth of his skin seemed to seep through and soothe the pain, as he went back to pleasuring you.

Your hand found Crowley's hair, holding on as he started eating you out.

He was doing a good job, a very good job. After letting his tongue explore as deeply as he could, he spoke, just barely moving away and sending waves of pleasure to your core again, „You're beautiful. So ready and wet for me.“

As he started to switch between sucking on and flicking your clit with his wonderful tongue, and running it along your slit, he hummed in appreciation, adding to the stimulation. „Crowley, I'm- I'm gonna come, if you don't stop,“ you whined, feeling the tension in your pussy getting stronger.

„That is the plan,“ he just said, going right back to it.

Knowing you were close, he now focused on your clit and gave it full attention. It didn't take long 'till you were just on that brink, chest heaving, eyes closed in pleasure, and then finally, you let go, a moan escaping your lips as waves of pleasure pulsed through your whole body.

His hands were still tightly clasping your thighs and he kept sucking as you had your orgasm, prolonging it until it wasn't possible anymore and you were just overly sensitive.

When your body had stilled, leaving you completely relaxed and breathing deeply, he moved up towards you, and kissed you passionately.

„That was... wow,“ you just said, completely out of words or capability to think at all.

He just smiled and reverted to kissing your neck. As his stubble grazed your skin once again, quietly letting his hot breath roam over you, your breath quickened again and you were more than ready for him. You wondered how he had held up for so long, his erection straining against your thigh. He had never waited this long.

„Fuck me,“ you whispered into the air, feeling his grip tighten on you as a result.

Crowley looked up, his eyes looking darker and colder than before, as he captured you in another kiss.

„Open up wide for me,“ he growled and you spread your legs for him. His one hand pushed your thighs apart a bit more, to then tease your entrance with his length and push in at once, sinking into your slick heat with ease.

He groaned at the feeling and you moaned with him, in awe at the feeling of him again. It had been too long.

Your hands were on his back, nails digging into his skin and instinctively, you pulled him down close to you.

He replied by stroking along your hips with his hands and he found a rhythm that wasn't as fast but so good and deep it left you wringing for air.

„Oh, fuck, Crowley,“ you breathed, „it feels so good.“

He lowered his head to your shoulder, at first kissing, then biting lightly as his thrusts picked up speed again, hitting harder and deeper.

The higher intensity made you ache in the best possible ways and you were fighting hard not to start moaning or even shouting aloud.

A moan slipped out nevertheless, and Crowley came up to capture your lips with his, drowning out your blissful sounds with a deep kiss.

Breathing so close into each other you knew you were both getting dangerously close.

As you opened your eyes, you felt just the tiniest trace of tears welling up, at the immense pleasure you were feeling and the way your heart ached for the man in front of you.

„uh, I-“ God, speaking wasn't easy like this.

„My king,“ you finally said. „Please come with me.“

Maybe it came from a place within that didn't want to come without his permission. Maybe you just wanted the feeling of being together in every way. Or you just liked the way he looked at you and claimed you with his hands when you called him 'your king'.

„Hold on just a little longer, darling,“ he whispered in your ear.

You fought hard, your muscles tensing, hands holding on to his body, as you focused hard on not letting pleasure take over.

Slowly but surely, Crowley's breathing became ragged and as his thrusts became a bit more irregular he brought down his hand to your clit and you knew you were done for.

He rubbed circles into it, adding so much more friction as he kept pushing into you, and you felt yourself coming apart already, still fighting.

„Come now,“ he said and you were able to finally let go with a held back moan.

As your walls clenched and unclenched around his cock, he soon stilled; his body tensing up underneath your hands, he came as well, filling you up with his warm cum, the sensation of it prolonging your orgasm as well.

You were both completely spent and exhausted, as you came down from your highs. Your eyes were closed as you collected your breath, reveling in the blissed out feeling that had settled over your whole body.

Crowley was still inside of you, holding himself up so not to crush you under his weight. As you opened your eyes you met his gaze, his content, tired gaze. He was simply watching you and for a few moments you allowed it, this complete vulnerability as he once again looked at you with that unreadable expression on his face.

After a few moments, though, you pulled him against you. You kinda liked the feeling of him inside of you, now soft and relaxed, but closer than ever, and still connected. He pulled out and fell onto his side next to you.

You moved closer to kiss him and it was such a sensual kiss – almost a bit lazy as you were both exhausted, but still so good and hungry for each other. He lightly bit your lip and soon you broke the kiss again.

As you thought back to all the times he had just left right after sex, you were almost scared to move closer, but you did anyway, and you ran your hand along his skin to then settle around him, hand lazily resting on his back to trace little shapes on his spine.

He probably wasn't a cuddler. He was probably going to leave any second now, wasn't he? But you didn't want him to. You wanted him to stay. You wanted to feel him right there, breathing against you.

As his hands brushed your hair out of your face and calmly ran through it, you gathered all your courage.

„Will you- will you stay, just for a little while?“ you asked, your voice small and soft, existing only in the space between the two of you.

A small smile crossed his lips quickly – you could have as well imagined it –, as his arm wandered down to your back and pulled you in close.

You let out a breath you only now noticed you'd been holding. You let your legs intertwine and you got comfortable in the warmth of his embrace.

You'd already been dozing off to sleep when he let go of you, and if it weren't for your immense exhaustion you'd probably complained or reached out to pull him back.

But when you felt a blanket being pulled over your body, his hands then finding your skin again and settling beneath you, you just smiled to yourself and drifted off to sleep.

Once during the night you woke up, side aching, mind spinning. Everything was dark and your breathing was out of control as you tried to orient yourself, your brain desperatly trying to figure out whether this was a nightmare or reality, whether there was a vampire lurking in the corner or a dead body on the floor.

As you came to yourself you felt arms around you, heavy arms and you panicked, squirming out of their loose hold, trying to make sense of where you were. You felt the person beneath you move, and when you realized they were waking up, a new wave of panic took over your body.

But when you turned around, your eyes settled on Crowley's face and after a moment of confusion, as you'd never woken up to this, your breathing calmed down, your brain comprehending: _this is reality. You're safe._

He'd opened up his eyes, curiously looking up at you. You were sitting there, still staring at him.

„What's wrong?“ he asked, his voice rough and sleepy. It nearly sent chills down your spine.

„I- I just had a bad dream, that's all,“ you said, your voice still breathy and hesitant.

He nodded and as you slowly settled back down you realized: he was still here. He had stayed here, sleeping next to you. It was a strange feeling, a mix of peculiarity and affection welling up in your heart.

You settled down next to him, your back against his front as you were lying awake for another while, just staring ahead. It was never easy to calm back down after those nightmares, though now you were also wrestling with the fact that Crowley was there holding you close as he fell back asleep, so your mind was awake for more reasons than just the nightmare.

But with his arms around your waist, and his breath against your backside, it didn't take as long as it usually did to calm down and slowly slip back into that sleepy state.

Your sleep wasn't perfect, but it was the least amount of nightmares you had had in a long time. When you woke up in the morning, the bed was empty beside you. You felt your heart sink in disappointment, just a tiny bit, but as you stretched out your limbs you noticed just how well-rested you felt and you got up with a lightness you had forgotten you could feel.

 


	11. Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters haven't worked a case in a while... But Crowley never ceases to offer blissful distraction to the reader.

„I know it's actually a good thing, but you know...“

„Yeah,“ Dean simply replied. Of course he knew.

You and your brothers had just returned to the bunker after a few hours on the road. You'd crossed states to investigate what seemed like a case of werewolves. It turned out to be a normal bear attack.

So now you were back in the bunker and all of you getting a bit frustrated. You hadn't worked a case in two weeks. Of course it was a good thing that there weren't so many people dying due to supernatural beings, but you all needed work nevertheless. Sitting around the bunker could get a bit depressing at a certain point.

So here you were, grabbing a beer from the fridge and joking about all the things you could do with your new-found time. „I could learn French!“ you said and Sam smiled.

„Or you two could start exercising more... or you know, at all. You and Dean shot him a glance which was half chuckling and half eye-rolling.

After finishing your beer you reatreated to the bathroom and decided to take a quick shower, wanting to unwind a bit and distract yourself.

After slipping off your clothes you stepped into the shower, and sighed as the hot water hit your skin. Your mind was still buzzing around your hopes of finding a case soon, and you thought to yourself, _I just gotta get through this dry spell_.

Then you chuckled at your thoughts, seeing as it had also been a few days since Crowley had visited... Maybe Sam's suggestion of exercising was not as absurd as it sounded to you and Dean; you couldn't deny that you needed a way to let off steam, which usually came in the form of a case, or, for a while now, adventures with Crowley.

Shampooing your hair you appreciated the soft vanilla smell and after rinsing it all out you just stood there, letting the hot water stream down your body. It was incredibly relaxing and sometimes you liked to zone out and think about everything and nothing for a little while.

Your hands roamed your body, half washing off the shower gel and half absent-mindedly massaging your own skin under the hot, blissful water.

Eventually your hand travelled more south and at first you just rubbed along your folds unconsciously, until you noticed what you were doing and succumbed to the feeling.

 _Yeah, that might be a way to let off some steam_ you thought to yourself as your fingers dipped into your pussy. A light moan fled your lips, the sound bouncing off the bathroom walls but barely audible with the water still going.

„Need a hand?“ a low voice suddenly startled you and you turned around quickly, your hand pulling away, to see Crowley standing in the room.

„Oh, didn't want you to stop... Though I'd love to join,“ he just smiled and you relaxed as he took off his suit jacket.

He seemed to want to take his time today, as he slowly undressed. Your hand mindlessly travelled back to your nether regions, your eyes unable to break contact with the view in front of you.

He looked so sexy, taking his clothes off like that, revealing broad, strong shoulders; completely aware of your stare and the effect he had on you, always that slight smile sitting on his lips.

He looked up and his hungry eyes fell on you.

 _God, the water's hot_ , you realized and turned around to lower the temperature just a little. Yeah, you were maybe just a little worked up already.

Crowley stepped into the shower behind you, his one hand snaking around your waist and pulling you close, as his lips gently kissed the skin around your shoulder, whispering warmly into your ear.

„Need me to help you relax?“

„Mhm,“ you just nodded as his hand stroked all along your skin before replacing your hand inbetween your legs.

You sighed out in bliss as he started to pleasure you with his skilled fingers. The hot water was still running down your front and you felt yourself melting against his firm body.

He held you so close and tight and his now soon erect cock was straining against your back, as waves of pleasure rushed through you.

He stretched you out nicely, now swiftly pushing three fingers in and out of your slick heat; then he switched his pattern and with two fingers still inside of you and lightly moving, his thumb found your clit.

You were so damn close, and that's just when he withdrew his hand, chuckling as you caught your breath to start complaining.

„You'll feel even better around my aching cock,“ he muttered into your ear and you forgot about trying to catch your breath when he turned you around and pushed you up against the wall, kissing you hungrily.

„My king,“ you sighed inbetween kisses and he pulled you against him.

At last, he lifted you up swiftly, as if you weighed nothing at all, and at first teasing with the tip of his length, he then pushed into you in one rapid motion.

„Oh, god, yes,“ you mewled and he adjusted your position around him to make sure he could have full control over his movements.

It didn't take long 'till he was quickly and _deeply_ thrusting into you, pushing you back against the wall with every move.

Yes, this was exactly what you needed. It was distracting for sure and afterwards you'd be nice and exhausted in just the right kind of way.

He pushed deeper when you thought it wasn't possible, he made you feel more with every thrust and you held on tightly, nails digging into his shoulders as he pounded into you, just the shower running and the smacking of your hips and your wet pussy filled your ears, a few lazy moans tumbling out of you.

„Please, oh _god_ ,“ you said soon, as you felt the knot in your stomach tighten and you didn't feel like you could hold yourself up any longer.

„I need to come, please, let me come, sir,“ you pleaded and he looked at you with darkened eyes and a sly smile as he replied, „I love it when you beg.“

There was no mercy in the way he now pounded into you and words fell from his filthy, beautiful lips, telling you what a good girl you were for holding on, as his fingers finally brushed against your clit and had you come completely undone within moments.

„Oh, fuck, yes,“ you moaned, trying hard not to be too loud. You couldn't risk getting caught ever again.

Soon after you'd reached your peak, Crowley did as well and he filled you to the brim, the warmth inside of you an even more amazing feeling than the hot water or Crowley's warm skin against yours.

He held you there for a moment, both of you panting hard as you came down from your highs. He finally carefully set you down, still supporting you as you got used to standing on your feet again, your legs full of exhaustion, threatening to give in any moment.

Gently, he stroked your skin as the water flowed down your body again and after a while of complete silence, he reached forward and turned off the water, and you both stepped out of the shower, where he wrapped you up in a soft white towel.

The calmness that had settled in your mind was pure bliss and you smiled at him as you just stood there with the towel wrapped around you.

„What?“ he asked quietly, stepping towards you and kissing you softly.

„I just... That was amazing. I've been a bit frustrated cause we haven't worked a case in so long... This was just what I needed.“

He smiled at you as he put his clothes back on.

„Now... I'm certain I could keep you busy,“ he said, his voice a mixture of playful and lustful.

„I wouldn't mind that,“ you flirted as you stepped in closer once more to kiss him passionately.

„That is if you're open to trying some... new things.“

What that meant you didn't quite know. Your heart already started to jump in excitement at the thought of what he could possibly mean. And you trusted him. You really trusted him.

„Tomorrow?“ you simply asked, looking up at him.

Your heart ached at the look in his eyes, something so full of desire but also kindness and something that just made you feel so at home.

„Tomorrow.“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially the longest fanfic I've ever written. I really did not expect it to turn into something longer, but here we are and still going strong! I hope you're enjoying this and soon I'll post some more exciting chapters again. I love you! Happy New Year!


	12. Good Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a new day and Crowley follows up on his promise. He has a very specific plan though... Is the reader up for it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: teasing, edging, sex toys

 

You stretched out your arms as you woke up, slowly opening your eyes.

The nightmares hadn't been as bad as other times. You got out of bed, not wanting to think about what you'd seen in your dreams too much.

Too lazy to take off the shirt you'd slept in, you decided to leave it on. It was very comfortable and warm. After slipping on some panties, you picked a red plaid skirt from your closet; somehow you just felt like wearing a skirt today. You rarely wore skirts – the most obvious reason being that they were pretty inconvenient and you mainly went outside to hunt – but sometimes you liked the feeling of them. Today was one of those days.

„What a view...“

Crowley was behind you, his arms embracing you and his lips finding your neck very swiftly. „You should wear a skirt more often.“

You just smiled at his warm touch and let yourself sink back against him, until he commanded you to „get on the bed“.

Lying onto your back, you watched him as he strolled over to you. His hands easily slipped off your black panties, leaving you in your shirt and skirt, not quite naked, but you felt the sensation of the cool morning air against your pussy, which was starting to feel almost electric with arousal.

„Spread wide,“ he ordered and you obeyed. The light strain in your muscles when Crowley put his hands on your thighs felt so good. It ached as you completely gave yourself to him.

A few kisses on your thighs, his stubble scratching your skin, and then he finally directed his attention towards your throbbing core, starting out with teasing licks and gladly working up a faster and deeper rhythm when you whined in impatience.

Soon he replaced his tongue with his fingers, clearly wanting to stretch you out good for whatever was to come next. Eyeing the bulge in his pants your mind wandered off to delicious territorries, thinking about what it would feel like to have him inside of you, pushing in deep and holding you tight.

But when he distanced his fingers from your skin, he didn't seem to be planning on taking off any clothes himself. Instead he took a moment to take in the view in front him: your hair all messy, cheeks flushed red with anticipation and body so spread out and open, just for him.

„I brought some toys,“ he said and out of nowhere there was a purple dildo in his hands. It was rather big and there was a pattern engraved all along its shaft; it was beautiful.

Quickly understanding what he wanted from you, as he brought it to your face, you opened your mouth and gave him a little show as you seductively sucked on it and, at last, gave it one more lick.

With the look on his face you wondered why he wasn't taking you right here and now, what was he planning?

But your thoughts volatilized as he pushed the toy into you, its hard but bendy thickness filling you to the brim. You moaned softly as he found a rhythm, your slick heat welcoming the foreign object with pleasure, making it easy for him to swiftly, but roughly plunge it in and out of you.

Your eyes were closed and your mind spiralling with the pleasure, and then suddenly his movements stopped. You opened your eyes and he just replied by telling you to „turn around and bend over the bed.“

It took a moment for you to collect yourself and your energy which had flown right out of your limbs as you'd let yourself sink into the bed and let the bliss take over.

But of course you obeyed.

„Keep it in,“ he said and getting up, you tried your hardest to keep your muscles tense so the didlo wouldn't slip out again. You turned around and bent over the edge of the bed, giving your king a view that made you feel quite vulnerable; your most intimiate bits presented to him like that.

His hands quickly roamed over the curves of your ass, first folding back your skirt a bit.

Then he resumed steadily thrusting the toy into you. His fingers found your clit and you were _so close_ , thinking, as he rubbed circles into the little knob, he would let you come; but then he was gone again and the dildo pulled out of you.

You let out a breathy whine, and couldn't help but feel annoyed at him. „Crowley, I-“

„What have I said about you using my name?“ he interrupted you pointedly.

The movement your heart made was weird, a combination of sinking in nervosity and jumping up in excitement, as you realized it was _that_ kinda sex.

„I'm sorry, sir,“ you quickly apologized. „I- I was so close, please let me come, sir,“ you then added, trying to sound small and begging, rather than demanding.

His low chuckle rumbled all the way through your body.

„Oh, I'll let you come, I'll let you come good,“ he replied, something mischievous in his voice.

He reached around you and pulled you against him, so you were standing up straight again, his erection evident behind you, and the wet heat almost unbearable between your legs.

„...If you're a good girl and keep this on 'till tonight.“

In his hand he was holding black fabric, dangling it in front of you. It took you a moment to realize what he was holding up; at first sight it simply looked like lacey black panties, but then you saw the blue material hidden within.

„Well?“ he simply asked and you realized that you'd just been staring at them, so you took them from his hand and gingerly slipped them on.

A rather hard material met your folds when you pulled them on and at first, Crowley just slid his hands over the material, saying how nicely they fit you, and then – with a little tap of his finger – the material in your panties started to vibrate, right on your clitoris.

You gasped as you felt the sensation ripple through you.

„No pleasuring yourself or taking them off. I promise I'll make it worth it...“

You turned around to face him, and gently kissed him. His smile was so smug and dirty, all you wanted to do was earn the reward he'd planned out for tonight.

„Yes, sir,“ you said and he smiled at you haughtily before disappearing tracelessly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the holidays it's been a bit of a busy time, I hope you'll forgive me lol.  
> I've received a lot of positive feedback for this story lately and I wanna thank you all for taking the time to read this and even write comments.  
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter (and the next one, soon) as much as the last ones. :) Happy new year!


	13. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley doesn't make it easy. But she will be good for him.
> 
> WARNINGS: teasing, public sex kinda, edging, control, emotional, shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. Things have been... well, a lot. But I've finally managed to catch up and I do hope you'll thoroughly enjoy these next two chapters... ;)

It took a bit of time to get used to the feeling of this gentle, quiet vibration under your clothes. You put on pants instead of the skirt you'd been wearing because it somehow made you feel a bit less vulnerable, as if it was harder to detect that you were receiving this kind of pleasure under your clothes.

Sam and Dean weren't up yet and you made yourself a cup of coffee and sat down in the library, ready to go through the news and find a case. It was harder to focus when you were sitting there, intensifying the stimulation. But the vibration wasn't that strong and so eventually you got used to it, a pleasant little feeling in your core, but not too much to really distract you or have you get to worked up any time soon.

Well, you were wrong.

Pretty soon after you'd finally adjusted to this constant stimulation, the vibration got a bit stronger.

 _That bastard_ , you thought to yourself. Half of you was excited and smiled a bit, but on the other hand you just wanted to work and if this was going to continue at this rate and get any stronger, you knew it wouldn't be easy to stay focused.

But this was okay, still maneagable. Yet a bit of nervosity and shame flared up inside of you when you heard your brothers talking in the kitchen and then making their way to the library.

„Hey,“ Sam said. You tried your very best not to show any sign of your... little secret, as the two of them joined you, hair messy and steaming cups of coffee in their hands.

„Morning,“ you replied.

„Have you found anything?“

Shaking your head, you resumed your research, hoping you were looking as normal as ever.

Sam had grabbed his laptop and started research too, but Dean didn't really see a point in it. Soon he went to make toast and only then you realized how hungry you were.

„mmm,“ you sighed as you bit into the perfectly crunchy and yet still soft inside piece of toast, after heaping peanut butter and jelly on top.

„We better find a case soon,“ Dean said. Sam nodded along. You were all in dire need of some work, some kind of distraction. You had to hold back a small smile as you thought about how you already had a distraction right there... Though you also felt a bit bad for it.

Not to mention how weird you felt about sitting with your brothers while receiving this kind of pleasure, you also felt a tiny bit guilty for having your mind elsewhere when really, all three of you just wanted to find a case.

So you got up, and after putting away your used dishes, and getting another cup of coffee, you went back to the library and continued your research.

Not long after, your brothers joined you, books spread out, fingers flying over keyboards, frustrated groans every now and then; the whole scene accompanied by the light buzzing in your panties.

 _Okay, focus._ You told yourself and went through another online newspaper. Nothing... Next one.

Time passed rather quickly, your clit getting continously more sensitive, but the stimulation being just at a level that you could still handle without getting to worked up.

But then, just when you took a sip from your coffee, the vibration flared up, and you half-spat your coffee right back into the mug, masking it as a cough when your brothers looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

„Wrong pipe,“ you said and they nodded, quickly reverting to their work. You inhaled deeply, clearing your throat as you deciphered the pattern of the vibrator: 2 seconds quite intense, and then one second lower intensity. It took your everything to keep your breathing rather even, as you stared ahead at your laptop screen, not registering anything but the tight feeling in your core.

Again you cleared your throat, trying to pass off your weird behaviour as something in your throat, and finally, just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, the buzzing seemed to stop.

As you exhaled and relaxed back into your seat, you realized it hadn't stopped, it had simply reverted to such a low intensity, it was nothing compared to what you'd just experienced.

What the hell? You thought to yourself. Had that been a warning? A preview of what was to come? Or did Crowley just enjoy seeing your squirm next to your brothers, trying so hard to hold back the waves of pleasure washing over you?

Quietly wondering why you'd agreed to this, you shook your head, simply glad you were back to a maneagable level.

Time passed, the minutes trickling by and the next time Crowley cared to remind you of your situation was at four in the afternoon. Sam was stretching out, obviously tired of this endless search and you felt how stiff your neck was, too.

But this couldn't be it! You kept looking, and rather slowly this time, the vibrations got stronger. And stronger, and then even stronger. There wasn't even a pattern yet, but this intense attack on your clit made your muscles tense up and the words on the screen slip away. _Oh god._ When it didn't die down after about ten seconds you started to wonder whether this was it, whether he was serious this time.

You couldn't just have an orgasm right here, in front of your brothers. What the hell was Crowley thinking?

You felt your legs pushing together and quite automatically, you pushed back against the chair a little, intensifying the pressure of the toy against your nerves.

Too many emotions and thoughts were racing through you at once, none of them able to stay for more than a few seconds, chased away by rushes of pleasure coming from your core.

_He can't be serious. Sam and Dean will know. He's got to stop!_

Another rather intense wave of pleasure shot through you.

_And he said I can't come. What is he doing? Is this some kind of test? I won't last..._

But a part of you was enjoying the feeling, of course you were. The man at the other end knew exactly what he was doing to you...

You wanted to give in, wanted to push back and reach into your panties and finish what he'd started. But when you opened your eyes and found both your brothers staring at you, you realized how worked up you'd gotten.

„Uh, everything alright?“ Dean asked, staring at you.

„Uh- uh yes, I-“ _What, what?_ „I just feel a bit sick. I thin I- I need a break, I'll go lie down for a moment,“ you finally brought forth, trying your very best to seem normal, sick at the very most.

They nodded and as they turned back to their work, you were almost sure they'd bought your story.

Hurriedly you got up and made your way to your room, heavily leaning against the door after you'd closed it. You felt the vibration switch back to that pattern you'd felt earlier. Two seconds _very_ strong, one second low intensity. „Oh god,“ you whispered to yourself. „Dammit, Crowley.“

You sat – or rather collapsed – into your desk chair, trying to steady yourself.

But you were so damn close, and before you could even think about it and worry about the consequences, you felt yourself grinding down, your pussy on the corner of the chair.

A light moan escaped your throat as you pushed down again, feeling your climax getting closer. But then, all of a sudden, you realized what you were doing. _No pleasuring yourself._

You were directly disobeying his orders. His two simple instructions.

You breathed in deeply, trying to calm down – you wanted to be good for him – but the pattern was still going strong and you were sure, any second now you'd fall apart completely.

„Fuck, Crowley, I can't- I can't hold back anymore,“ you brought forth, your voice dissolved in something inbetween a moan and a whine.

As if he'd heard you – he probably had – after a few seconds, the vibrations turned off, and it felt like a slap in the face when the attack on your clit suddenly stopped, leaving you feeling empty and vulnerable and sobered up, the sure-fire highway to your climax suddenly stopped in its tracks.

A part of you was relieved because you'd have felt guilty for disobeying him if you'd come, as you'd clearly helped yourself along the way; but on the other hand you were almost angry, emotions welling up inside your chest, a kind of frustration that was very close to despair, just wanting to come, wanting to get this over with, wanting him to stop teasing and finally touch you, hold you, make you feel like you were worthy of his mercy and finally let you unwind in his arms.

This heap of emotions was quite unexpected and it took you a moment to collect yourself. Finally, you got up and quietly opened the door, not wanting your brothers to see you in this state. You wouldn't know what to say to them.

Gently, you pushed down the handle of the bathroom door, and, once locked inside, you shuffled towards the sink, running cold water over your hands, which you then splashed into your face.

Immediately it woke up you up a bit, its sobering effect taking nicely on you. You felt your mind clearing up a bit, relief settling in about the lack of vibrations in your nether regions, and your breath coming back to a normal speed as well.

After another splash of cold water, and drying off your face well, you looked almost back to normal already, though a bit exhausted, you asserted as you looked into the mirror.

„Y/N? You okay?“ you heard Sam's voice against the door and finally you felt capable of facing him again.

You opened up the door and put on your most composed self. „Yeah, I took somethin', already feel a lot better. Must have been something I ate...“

He nodded understandingly. Then his face lit up.

„I think we found a case.“

„Really?“ you said, your mixed emotions wonderfully pushed aside as you walked back to the library with your brother. At least these hours of research had amounted to something.

As you read through the newspaper article, you felt Dean staring at you. Shaking off the worry that he might have looked through your act, you focused on the article. It was about a family whose new-born had just been abducted, and how years before their first child had died right after birth. It mostly just seemed like a tragic story about an ill-fated family, but then the article went into detail about this family's life, specifically the father who was a very notable member of the most prestigious club in town. Just a year ago this family had been struggling financially; it seemed over-night they'd inherited an incredible amount of money, allowing them to buy a huge house and enter into all the most highly esteemed circles.

„Hm... I mean this could just be an unsual story. But it does sound strange... Were you thinking crossroads-demon?“ you asked them.

„Yes, that's what we thought at first. But then we found _these_ articles,“ Dean said, turning his laptop towards you, so you could look at the many headlines he'd assorted on the screen.

„There were a few kidnappings over the years, as well as some cases of child deaths – which is just a cover up, if you ask me – often in families that had, just like this one, wondrously acquired a fortune, or high-status jobs and so on... But there's been a bunch of weird deaths in that town too, a lot of them sound like-“

„Witches,“ you completed his sentence. You'd seen and read quite enough about witches and their horribly creative spells, curses and hexbags that caused the most gruesome and peculiar deaths.

„Could be witches. Could be demons... What's clear is: people keep making deals, giving away their first-borns for wealth and prominence. That town is full of horrible people,“ Dean commented and you nodded along. In this town, it seemed, it was almost traditional to make those deals. It was horrible, but you were nonetheless glad to have found a case.

„Yeah, looks like it. When do we leave?“ you asked and, closing the laptop, Sam exhaled, relieved to have found a case.

„It's already getting late now and you're not feeling great, so it's best we get a good night's sleep and leave first thing in the morning. That okay?“

„Sure,“ you replied and sat down. „I'm actually feeling a lot better, so if you wanna go ahead and finish up for today, I could look into it a bit more, see if I can find any more clues.“

They were happy to let you do that, but told you to take it easy.

The buzzing set in again, as your brothers gathered their stuff. It took you a little by surprise.

Just enough time had passed for you to calm down again, so you wouldn't come within seconds when the stimulation started again, but your clitoris was still sensitive.

You just hoped you'd be able to focus enough, at least for half an hour or so, but you felt this ache building up inside of you again, this desire, this emptiness that you wanted Crowley to fill...

Glancing at the clock, you saw it was already 5pm. He'd better not let you wait for too long.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've had a good start into the new year, I mean, whatever. It's just a number. Still I hope you're doing well, thank you for sticking around and for your feedback. Lots of love. And just you wait...


	14. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Crowley sets an end to this torture, and it doesn't quite go as expected.
> 
> Warnings: teasing, emotional, sensitivity, guilt, punishment, spanking, emotional

Oh, he had his fun with you. You were able to focus on working for twenty more minutes, a change of pattern disrupting you only twice.

You had dinner with your brothers, and one time you even had to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, because it was getting too intense. Your knuckles white, gripping the edge of the sink, you tried to re-collect yourself, and he knew just how to work you over: getting you so close, and then backing off, leaving you in a mix of relief and frustration at the same time.

Fortunately, due to your sick excuse, your brothers weren't at all surprised, when you called it a night and went to bed early.

You knew they were going to be up a little longer, watching TV and having a beer together. In this moment you wished you could just distract yourself as well, and so you got out your worn-out notebook to refresh your memory on witches, trying to connect the information to everything you'd read... if only you could figure out what it was exactly.

You'd find out soon enough, but you craved a bit of distraction, as you hated the feeling of sitting there, completely helpless, no control over what was happening to your body, waiting for your puppet master... You were getting a bit annoyed at this stupid game; all you wanted was for him to finally bring an end to it.

It was almost ten, when his gravelly voice finally sounded behind you.

„Hello, love.“

You turned around from your desk, and there he was. Finally, after all of these hours.

„Sir.“ You surprised even yourself when your voice came out sounding so small, obedient and relieved.

With a faint smile he stepped towards you, taking your hand and guiding you to stand up.

Then, taking all the time in the world, he carressed your hair, your cheek and lastly, so gently, touched your lips with his thumb, as if patiently analyzing a painting.

Your breath was already getting ragged again, simply with him standing there, touching you so lightly. You were so desperate, even more now that he was here.

„Sir,“ you started and he slightly tilted his head, ready to hear your pleas.

„Please, please kiss me.“

„Gladly,“ he said after a pause. Then he leaned down, placing his lips on yours, and it was surprisingly gentle. But your hands found his suit, and pulled him closer, your lips demanding more, a feeling inside of you aching for him to be close, but you ignored how insatiable it felt. If you'd have thought about it, you'd have been consumed with how much it scared you, this empty feeling, that you somehow didn't think could be filled.

Reacting to your daring, urgent moves, he took control again, swiftly walking you over and rouhgly pushing you against the wall.

„Aren't you desperate, little girl?“ he asked, breaking the kiss and looking down at you.

„Well, I can't blame you after this whole day.“

First he took your hands, crossing them against the wall above you, then, with a swift little movement in his right hand, you felt yourself being pulled against the wall, an invisible force pinning you to it, completely drained of all power now.

„But I'm still going to take my time with you, if I want to. Understood?“

His eyes pierced through you, and you were surprised that you could speak, as the rest of your body seemed completely out of your control.

„Yes,“ you whispered.

Crowley kissed you again, this time a bit deeper, rougher, and you sighed into his lips, something in your chest pulling you towards him so strongly. You felt so happy to be kissing him, but you just needed more, wishing you could give in to that ache in your body, getting close enough to him you wouldn't be able to breathe.

But all you could do was kiss him back, feel your breath speed up as his hands roamed over your body. He wasn't even getting close to where you wanted him, _needed him_ , yet you were already losing it, closing your eyes and feeling tears well up in your eyes at all the different sensations your body was receiving.

Finally, the force seemed to cease, and you nearly fell into his arms when you regained control of your limbs.

„On the bed,“ he simply ordered and with weak knees you obeyed, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it.

Standing in front of you, you only now noticed the thick bulge in Crowley's trousers, and you wondered how he was able to keep his composure so effortlessly, while you were already nearly falling apart now.

His hand once more carressing your cheek, he guided you to lie down and, placing kisses along the way, he gently lifted up your shirt, you helping him pull it off. After taking his time with kissing your neck, your stomach and most of all your collarbones, he removed your bra and you nearly jumped at the sensation of his warm, wet mouth around your nipple.

„You have been,“ he started, softly biting and kissing your other nipple, „so good for me today.“

You opened your eyes and you couldn't help it: guilt settled over you, as you looked at him, his lust-blown eyes, his gentle touches, and the words he spoke so sweet... and not quite true.

Before he could continue talking, you found yourself starting to babble.

„I- I wasn't, I didn't obey all your orders,“ you tried to explain. Your breath was ragged and it took a lot of effort to try and form a phrase and then also get it out of your twisted tongue.

Crowley was patiently looking down at you, as you tried to find the right words.

„I- it was so intense, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I just. I was so close, and I used the chair to get myself closer- and I stopped, I did, but I shouldn't have-“

You felt your eyes sting with a hint of tears, but you opened them up nevertheless because Crowley's silence was unsettling you.

He was still watching you calmly, and you couldn't tell what the look in his eyes meant. It seemed to you there was a faint smile playing around his lips, but then again he looked at you so sternly and quietly, you knew he was disappointed.

„Hands and knees,“ he simply replied.

After a moment of hesitation, fear washing over you, fear of how disappointed he must be, and whether he would let you come at all, you got up and turned around, your behind facing him.

You felt him pull down your pants, and it was a strange feeling, as he pulled down your panties and your sensitive clit was met with cool air, making you aware of how wet you actually were.

You flinched softly when his hand touched your ass, carressing it slowly.

„I imagine you know I'm disappointed. I gave you two very simple instructions, and you couldn't follow them.“

Your heart sank at his words, and you fought really hard not to let the tears that were welling up in your eyes escape.

„But it _was_ very demanding, what we did today, so you did very well.“

You thought you'd misheard. You hadn't expected him to be so understanding. Before you could dive further into thought, he continued.

„I'm very proud of you for telling me about your mistake. I want you to understand that honesty always pays off with me.“

You felt his lips press a light kiss on your lower back, and you relaxed immediately.

„But I'm sure you understand, I'll have to punish you nonetheless. I don't want you to think your mistakes don't have consequences...“

Tensing up, as you heard his words, you tried to brace yourself, but nothing happened yet.

„I'm a fair judge. I know you did your best, and this will be over soon and you won't have to feel guilty anymore. Just count with me.“

You swallowed, and then his first slap hit your behind, stinging sharply.

„One,“ you said, your voice very small.

„Louder,“ he said, and you replied with a „one“ as firm as you could manage.

You counted up to three and then he turned you around, meeting you with a soft kiss.

„It's over, all over,“ he said and you relaxed underneath his touch.

„You're such a good girl,“ he whispered into your ear, making you shiver, and as he kissed his way down your body, this ache inside of you became very present again.

And this time, he seemed more intent on finally meeting those needs of yours.

He now discarded of the rest of your clothes and his lips gently found your folds, kissing, and licking along them, humming as he felt how wet you were for him. He barely touched your clit, knowing how sensitive it still was.

Even without it, you got extremely worked up, something inside of you still unfulfilled.

„I-“ you started, your breath hitching and keeping you from continuing your phrase as he made an especially wonderful movement with his tongue.

„Tell me what you need.“

You inhaled, realizing that you weren't sure either.

„I- I don't know. There's something... something inside of me, I- I can't explain,“ you said, stumblinf over your words and feeling incredibly stupid.

„It's okay, I'll take care of you,“ he said softly, moving away from you to take off his clothes.

Your eyes closed, all you could register in this moment was this feeling inside of you, this yearning feeling, as if something had been taken from you and you didn't know how to replace it.

On one hand, you wanted to come so badly, finally let these feelings of arousal lead to something; but on the other hand, your whole body was so over-stimulated, you felt so on edge, so exhausted, you didn't know _what_ you wanted. You just wanted this feeling to go away, this burning feeling, that you knew would keep you up all night.

Crowley moved over you, pushing you up so you were both more in the center of the bed, rather than on the edge, legs hanging down from it.

„My love,“ he whispered. „I know this has been a lot, but it'll all be over soon. Let me take care of you.“

He helped you wrap your legs around his torso, then took hold of your hips as he pushed into you. The feeling was indescribable, as he filled you completely.

It was such a different kind of stimulation than what you'd felt all day, nearly driving you out of your mind.

As his arms wrapped around your back, lifting you up against him, your hands found his back, tired but trying to hold on to something, _anything_.

Slowly he moved out of you again, to push back in, your wet heat welcoming him easily.

He was holding you close now and when you opened your eyes, trying not to be so over-whelmed with the feeling of him, his eyes met you. They were dark and full of lust, but there was also something else inside of them.

Something that looked like affection, or concern.

You moved up to capture his lips in a sensual kiss, feeling closer to him than ever before.

You realized just how vulnerable you really were. Exhausted by this whole day, so desperate for his touch, your mind so fogged by this need, everything else had slipped from your mind: any bit of shame, or insecurity, all you felt now was his closeness, his eyes on you and you wanted nothing more.

He picked up speed, but it seemed to you, he was maybe holding back a bit, or trying to be gentle with you, you in this state, this vulnerability. Sometimes it felt as if he knew exactly what you needed.

As his thrust became more irregular and you felt his breath start to become more ragged, his thumb found your clit and together you spiralled into this unfathomable amount of pleasure, the tight, hot knot in your core finally, _finally_ loosening, and at last unravelling.

You couldn't hold back the low moan that came from deep within you and Crowley silenced you with a gentle „hush“ and a kiss on your lips, swallowing your sounds of bliss with a heavy sigh himself, his hands gripping you tighter, as he came into you, his warm seed filling you up.

Only when coming down from this high, you realized your cheeks were wet, tears silently falling from your eyes and when Crowley broke the kiss, a sob tore through the cool air.

For a moment you just lay there, Crowley still holding you, still inside of you, and you were unable to stop the steady flow of tears that was making its way across your face and onto the sheets.

When you finally managed to open up your eyes, your sight was blurred by tears, but you could still make out Crowley's concerned face right above you.

His hand came up to gently wipe away your tears, which was hopeless as new ones kept rolling across your skin.

Then he gently laid you down, and kissed your tears away, his mouth then travelling to your neck, leaving the softest kisses and words you'd ever heard.

„It's over, it's alright,“ he whispered. „You've been so good for me, I know I asked a lot of you.“

You felt yourself calming down, but there were still tears flowing from your eyes, and you couldn't have found the means to speak even if you'd tried.

At last, he slipped out of you and started to arrange you more comfortably in your bed, bringing up the sheets to cover you in them, and then lying back down beside you.

He was on his side, facing you, his hand softly carressing your skin, patiently waiting for you to calm down.

The more you calmed down though, the more you came to your senses, and realized what you were doing. Why the hell were you crying? And why in front of him, completely unable to stop yourself? You'd ruined everything, and you felt so embarrassed that he had seen you this way. Most of all, you just didn't understand why, why you were doing this.

You turned to your side, facing away from him, quickly wiping away your tears and willing yourself to calm down, to stop being such an idiot.

„I'm sorry,“ you finally brought forth, your voice hoarse and weak, but present nevertheless.

„I'm sorry, I don't know what I- I'm fine, I'm sorry,“ you said quickly. How could you explain if you didn't understand either?

But then you felt his warm hand on your torso, and he shuffled closer, embracing you from behind.

„There's absolutely no reason to apologize,“ he said matter-of-factly.

„This sort of thing can be very emotionally straining, I shouldn't have asked this much of you. I never meant to hurt you.“

You had calmed down completely now. It took you a moment to find words, to clear your head, but then you turned around at once. How could he think this was his fault? If anything it had been you, being stupid and unable to handle something that shouldn't have been a big deal at all.

„You didn't- didn't hurt me,“ you said quickly.

Only now you saw how worried he actually looked. „Are you sure?“ he asked and you nodded feverishly.

You knew he was still doubtful, you saw it in his eyes and the way he looked at you.

You didn't know what else to say. All you could do was lean in and kiss him, which he, after a moment's hesitation, reciprocated gladly.

He pulled you in closer, your bodies pressed against each other, legs entangling, as his lips claimed you once more and you completely melted away in his arms.

Soon you had to break the kiss, as you were all out of breath. Looking at him in this moment, the way the king of hell was all undone, so intimate, right there with you, and the way he looked at you, the way he held you, you could barely handle how full your heart felt.

„I-“ you started. You stopped yourself before it slipped out, the words you'd only now realized were true.

„Thank you,“ you said instead. It was true, as well. You had never felt so safe and so cherished with anyone, you wanted him to know how thankful you were.

In response, his hand ran through your hair and he kissed you once more, gently this time, less urgently.

„I should really get some sleep now,“ you said after glancing at the alarm clock on your bedside drawer. „We have a case.“

„You do?“

Nodding, you turned around, finding a more comfortable position. Crowley held you tight still and you were thankful for it. You weren't sure if you could have fallen asleep otherwise.

 


	15. One Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning...

_Beep beep beep beep_

Reaching over, you quickly shut off the alarm, noticing that the air in the room was rather cool on your naked skin.

You fell back into bed, and registering how warm it was, all you wanted was to cuddle back into it and sleep a few more hours.

It wasn't really that you felt exhausted – you'd slept pretty well, with only one small nightmare and Crowley there, pulling you out of it and grounding you again. But you hadn't slept _a lot,_ you realized now, and last night came back to you.

Your mind was going to race off to wonder about the weird things that had happened, about how strange and confused you'd felt and the things you were still feeling a little bit... but then you realized there was someone next to you.

Turning to your side, you saw Crowley lying there, his face and its lines more relaxed than you'd ever seen them. He was awake, but lazily glancing at you from beneath hooded, sleepy eyes.

It dawned on you that you'd never woken up with him still there. He had stayed many a night now, but he'd usually always leave at some point while you were asleep. And you were okay with that, at least you thought so until now... Now that you saw his lazy smile, and his eyes that looked so normal and drowsy at this time of day...

Now that you heard his voice of which the gravelly tone rang through you when he greeted you with a quiet 'morning, love' and his slow hands pulling you in silently, very in sync with the morning's tranquility, your hushed breaths and moans and whispered words, as your hands ran along his skin, relishing in the warmth he provided, and his lips the first thing you tasted in the morning.

„Ah, I wish I didn't have to get up...“ you said, closing your eyes once more, completely wrapped in warmth and sheets and Crowley.

„Okay, that's not really true. I really need to work a case again. But if I could I'd stop time for a bit,“ you added, smiling.

His hands roamed your body once more, as he kissed you again, hand squeezing your butt and almost getting you lost in the embrace again; you finally broke free of the spell and wiggled out of his hold, getting up.

You felt his eyes on your naked body, and you tried to quickly find some fitting clothes. You picked a pair of jeans, a comfortable grey shirt and a green sweater with it, as well as your boots – as always.

Your bag was practically always prepared for a hunt, the most important weapons and other equipment at the ready in cases of imergencies.

You already heard Sam and Dean in the kitchen, and a part of you was a little scared about Crowley being here still, self-evidently lying there in your bed, looking like he really belonged there.

An idea formed in your mind as you watched him. A while ago you'd found an old polaroid camera in the bunker somewhere. You'd taken a few pictures and you liked the feel of it, and how analog it was. How you could take a picture and that's all you'd ever have left of the moment other than the memory, and nobody could ever get hold of it digitally.

Quickly rummaging in the drawer of your desk, you found it and held it up, snapping a picture of Crowley.

„What was that for?“ he asked, half laughing at you.

„I like the view... but it's time to go,“ you simply replied, shaking the picture in your hand.

He got up, first putting on his trousers, then picking up his neatly laid down shirt and putting it on, slowly starting to button it up while walking towards you.

„Make sure no one ever sees that,“ he said quietly, now that he stood in front of you.

With a smile you told him no one would.

„I'm serious.“

You nodded, a bit surprised at his sudden seriosity.

He pulled you in for another kiss and then, with the usual smug smile and a light snap of his fingers, he was gone.

The photo had developed before you knew it. You couldn't help but stand there and stare at it for a moment – the white sheets, and Crowley inbetween them, the most at ease you'd ever seen him... you slipped the picture into your jeans pocket, and exited your room, ready for a cup of coffee and a day on the road.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter will be up soon. Please leave feedback! <3


	16. The Picture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N and her brothers get on the road and start working the case. Things are confusing...

You had really missed the low humming of the engine and the passing fields. It almost felt like a ritual that belonged to every hunt, no matter how small or how big of a road trip it would be.

It was already almost 4pm when Dean stopped the car in a motel parking lot, all of you getting out and going to the reception where you booked a room with three single beds.

The lady at the reception was very nice, though eyeing you a bit curiously.

Once you'd reached your room, you plopped down on the bed in the corner, and put down your stuff.

„Alright, where to first?“ you asked, looking at your brothers.

„I'd say we should check in with the police first, get the details on every disappearance and strange death that's happened lately,“ Dean replied and you nodded in agreement.

„We should also go talk to the family in the article,“ you said.

„I'll do that. You and Sam go along, pay the police station an FBI visit.“

„Alright,“ Sam agreed and you all got ready, changing into suits and gathering the needed badges. Then you headed off together, Dean dropping you and Sam off at the police station.

It was a nice, old-fashioned building, you thought while walking up the stairs that led to the entrance.

At the reception a bald, friendly-looking guy greeted you. You'd imagined everyone in this town to be pretty arrogant, after everything you'd read about it, but this guy didn't seem like that at all.

„Agent Jack and Agent Hollow, FBI,“ Sam introduced the two of you matter-of-factly, as you both held up your badges. „We're gonna need to talk to you about the disappearance of David Rafford.“

The policeman, whose name was L. Howard, you registered now that you'd deciphered his name tag, was a bit surprised. He'd probably never been paid a visit by the FBI. He was very quick to help though and led the two of you to the backroom where they had locked away all the case files.

„I'm sorry to ask but why exactly is this FBI business?“ he asked, as the three of you walked along a narrow, yellowish corridor.

„Let's just say there's been a whole lot going on in this town, and we might just have a lead that connects these... incidents.“

„We can't tell you anymore than that, I'm afraid,“ you added. You were getting to the point of having perfected your tone of authority; you looked young but you'd learned to play your role pretty well by now.

He nodded understandingly as he opened the door to the case room; quite obviously he was a man who had a lot of respect for the FBI.

The man told you what he knew about the case; the clues they'd found and all the many they hadn't. He seemed slightly embarrassed to admit that they couldn't figure it out.

As you looked over the case files, scanning them for traces of something supernatural, Sam asked Mr. Howard to show him the files of all of the disappearances and deaths in the last three months. It was a remarkable heap of paper, and you realized only a fracture of the incidents had actually been covered in the media.

„Well, these people don't have money for nothing,“ Howard said, shrugging his shoulders. „Rumour's like a plague in this town; and if people can do something about it, they will.“ You silently wondered how a man like him had ended up in a town like this.

When you'd looked through it all, you thanked him and left, not without giving him your number and telling him to call if anything happened.

Sam called Dean as soon as you'd exited the building.

„It's still not clear... A lot of the deaths look like witches, but we'll have to go and check out a few of the places to see if we can find any more clues,“ Sam explained on the phone.

Dean hadn't been very lucky either, apparently. As expected, Mr. Rafford was a very presumptuous man, and he had stubbornly shook off the proclaimed FBI agent and any of his questions.

„But there were definitely traces of sulphur around. I'm betting on demons,“ he added later, when he'd picked you up again. „Let's check out those other places,“ you said.

It was a quick ride, as the town wasn't that big, and you checked out another two places. One of them hadn't really told you any more, but at the second one – crime scene to a mysterious death two weeks prior – you'd found a hex bag, leaving with substantial evidence of witch activity in your hands.

Still, things didn't add up yet...

After going back to the motel and changing out of your suits, you went to get some dinner at a place nearby. It was a comfortable evening and an early night, as it seemed best to check out more places tomorrow before making your judgement on the case, and you were all exhausted.

As you got into bed, you couldn't help it: knowing that the picture was right there in the pocket of your pants made it hard to resist. You picked up your pants and quietly held the picture in your hands, smiling slightly at the sight of it.

You sank into bed wishing you'd have his arms around you, but at least you had this beautiful picture in your mind as you fell asleep.

 


	17. Everybody's right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters work the case. Dean and Y/N have very different opinions. It might just turn out they're both right when things take a turn nobody expected...
> 
> WARNINGS: violence, fighting, killing, (kinda?) descriptive violence; (kinda?) suicide (but not descriptive at all! Still think I should mention it.); angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very long chapter ahead of ya (like 3k)... Lots of action, enjoy.

 

The coffee in the waffle place nearby was decent, but it made you realize how good your coffee was at home. A stack of waffles and a discussion in the impala later, the three of you were heading out to check out a few more places.

First up: an incident of a man who had choked on his own blood – something the autopsy had proved but could not explain. You found a hexbag.

You decided to research the three victims who had definitely been killed by witches and found that all three of them had an interesting little past, with sudden fortunes or wives.

Sam and Dean went to check out the disappearances from the last few months, of which most had been covered up rather well – supposed sicknesses that had led to tragic deaths of kids, miscarriages or (when the kids were a bit older) the prestigious boarding school excuse: those were the most common explanations for the disappearances.

When your brothers went to talk to three of those families, out of all three, two of the families' parents cracked rather easily under the pressure of those two intimidating FBI officers.

They all had two things in common: Demon deals and the country club.

„Demons, definitely,“ Dean said when they had arrived back at the hotel.

„But lately there's been so many deaths that were definitely witches, so what makes you so sure?“ you asked. The connections you had found made so much sense. If you'd gone with just your intuition you'd have said witches, but this job recquired more than just intuition.

„All the cases where children disappeared, that was demons. We're not dealing with a rich, dead guy – we're dealing with a child disappearance,“ Dean replied.

„That's true... But these people all shared the same sudden fortune and there's more...“

You turned your laptop to show them a picture.

„This woman? She's connected to each of the victims. But that's not all, five years ago her husband died; he had worked hard for his money and status, but then he had a helicopter accident... and that was it.“

„So what are you saying?“

„I'm saying this is a woman who never wanted to be part of this, and then she lost her husband here; she's never moved on and now other rich people are dying all around her. Seem normal to you?“

„There's definitely something going on there, but I still say our guy is a demon case.“

The way Dean and you were now staring at each other, getting heated up over differing opinions, it was not a rare occurrence.

You were both very stubborn, maybe you'd even learnt it from him.

„ _I_ say,“ Sam chimed in, „we go pay that woman a visit and find out if she's connected to our guy. We're onto something on both ends, but we can't possibly know yet, not for sure.“

Dean sighed and nodded, as you closed your laptop, having checked this woman's address. Ms. Wendel.

Pulling into the driveway of her house, you were surprised to see a big, white, modern-looking building, framed by a high steel gate. For a woman who seemed to hold quite the grudge against rich people, she seemed to have held onto the lifestyle rather dearly. Maybe it was all she had left of her husband, or maybe she needed to be in the middle of things to reach her victims more easily... Inside jobs were, after all, often the easiest and least suspicious strategy.

After hearing her voice on the intercom you decided you definitely didn't like her.

When she opened the door, after you'd walked along the path to her pompous entrance, you had to admit to yourself: she was beautiful. Not like you'd imagined her. Her long light brown hair fell down her shoulders in soft waves, and her eyes held a certain something... they pierced right through you as she welcomed you into her house.

You saw Dean eyeing her, and inwardly shook your head, when you realized you'd been doing the same. Quickly snapping out of your thoughts you focused on the task at hand.

She offered you a cup of tea, but you replied with a sweet „no, thank you,“ for more than one reason: you didn't have all the time in the world, and if she really was a witch, you wouldn't want to hand her the perfect opportunity to get rid of you.

„So, Ms. Wendel. This is just a routine check. We assume you've heard of the incident with the Rafford's son?“ Dean started the conversation.

Ms. Wendel nodded, a sadness slipping into her eyes – she was a good actress, you thought to yourself.

„Yes, I have. It's very tragic, really.“

„How well do you know the family, Ms. Wendel?“ Sam asked.

„Not very well... We used to sometimes see Mr. And Ms. Rafford in the club... until... well, you must know about my husband?“

You nodded, trying to seem rather sympathetic. „We do. We're very sorry for your loss.“

She thanked you and went on to tell you about how she would have never made it through that horrible experience, if it hadn't been for all the wonderful support of her friends here. You didn't believe her. She seemed to have her act well put together though, and so when you left the house Dean was still very convinced of his judgement.

But the last thing she'd said – an otherwise unimportant thing, if it weren't for your theory – it left you to rest your case against her.

„She just _gave us_ the connection, Dean! Her husband and Mr. Rafford were 'the best of friends', in her words.

„Why would she want to hurt him then?“ Dean asked in reply.

„Because she's obviously _not_ over the death of her husband, and despite her oscar-worthy performance, I say she blames those people to this very day.“

Sam sighed. He was about to say something when his phone rang.

The look on his face as he urged the two of you to get into the car and start driving didn't seem good.

„It was the Sheriff,“ he quickly explained. „Mr. Rafford has been missing since last night – they haven't filed a report yet, because it hasn't been 24 hours, but he thought it seemed suspicious and wanted to let us know.“

„So, what now?“ Dean asked.

„No real lead yet, but he was last seen at the country club... Just like all the other victims before him.“

It was decided: all you could do right now was head there and look for clues.

Fortunately, at this time of day there weren't many guests around. It was the early afternoon and most people were either out, playing golf, or in their private rooms, so it was no big deal to flash your badges and shortly disrupt the daily buzz of the club.

Once all people had left the room, you got working: the sheriff had told you when and where Mr. Rafford had last been seen and sure enough you soon found traces of sulfur by the bar in the common room.

Nearby was a door that led to a basement, a rather gloomy one – as if the setting wasn't perfect for a supernatural killing.

But there was nothing there and you were about to give up and when Sam called Dean and you over.

Now that you stood next to him, you saw it too: Under an old rug, there was a trap door, easily overlooked in the dark room.

Just for a moment you looked at it, bracing yourself. You all prepared yourself, guns in hand as you opened the trapdoor and got on the ladder, Dean first, then you, Sam staying back for look-out.

At first it was quiet, and even darker than the room before. You had just safely, quietly reached the floor, when you heard a loud, horrible scream, which caused you to turn around quickly, searching for the source of the sound.

There was a long corridor in front of you; it was like a whole other world down here; a perfect parallel to the dark stuff that was happening in this seemingly perfect town.

Silently you walked along the corridor, and, sneaking a cautious look around the corner of one of the rooms. you saw none other than Mr. Rafford sitting there, tied to a chair, bloody all over.

Standing nearby was a brown-haired man. He was holding a blade in his hand, it was obvious he was responsible for Mr. Rafford's wounds. Then you noticed there were three more men in the room, lurking in the back, watching the torture session as if it was the latest Tarantino movie.

You now noticed a little boy in a crib nearby. Mr. Rafford's son...

There was a strong smell of sulfur in the air and Dean was just about to give you an 'I-told-you-so' look, when you heard footsteps behind you. You turned around quickly, but the black eyes had seized you up already, moving towards you at an alarming speed. Luckily, you were quick enough as you pulled the trigger, even if it just distracted the demon for a few seconds. Dean quickly swooped in, swiftly killing the demon with the knife he had obtained quite a long time ago, and had become his best friend when it came to demon cases.

The gunshot had reverbated through the halls, and immediately the demons from the torture chamber came to investigate its origin.

There were four of them and you were attacked by two demons at once. You might have been small but your fighting skills had them swiftly distracted with kicks, just long enough to grab the bottle of holy water you were carrying.

As the two attackers wrung in pain, you switched places with Dean, like a practiced choreography; you held off the main demon just long enough for Dean to finish off the other two with the lethal stab of the knife. But this demon was powerful and he quickly recovered from the attack with holy water, roughly slamming you against the wall with a flick of his wrist; to then focus on Dean who was standing in front of him now, knife at the ready and a deadly look in his eyes.

Everything went too fast as another few demons joined the scene, and you wondered just fleetingly why Sam hadn't come to help you yet. The last thing you heard was the metallic sound of the knife hitting the floor before everything went black.

„Of course it's you,“ you heard a familiar british accent ring through the halls, the first thing you were aware of as you came back to consciousness.

„Good to see you, Azazel.“

You managed to open your eyes, at first everything was blurry but you fought hard to focus.

You took in the scene, staying quiet: Crowley was standing in the middle of the hall, facing the demon who had just minutes before attacked you. Around five more demons were backing him up, and everybody was quiet as Crowley's voice filled the room, but the tension was almost tangible.

„So this is what you've been up to... quite pathetic,“ Crowley went on, his voice a mix of casualty and sharpness.

„Building an army, aren't you?“

Crowley seemed so powerful but this hoard of demons, ready to see blood flowing, it worried you nonetheless. Your mind was spinning, trying to come up with a solution. Slighty, cautiously angling your head, you saw Dean lying there, unconscious.

„We both know it won't be long before I take back the throne that belongs to me,“ spat the demon, whose name was Azazel, according to Crowley.

The knife lay there, neglected and unsuspected, closer to Dean than you, yet if you could just reach for it, before anyone noticed you were awake...

You were just about to make a move towards it, when you heard a door closing and a woman's voice filled the room. You knew that voice...

„See who's joined us. Tell me Crowley, are you taking home your minions so I can come and get what is mine? Nobody has to get hurt... Not even this lovely hunter, it would be a shame, wouldn't you say – with a pretty face like that?“

You quickly – as swiftly as possible – lifted your head and your heart sank low when you saw Sam, standing in front of Ms. Wendel, physically present – but staring ahead as if he wasn't mentally there... What had she done to him? And suddenly you realized you had been right – you had both been right.

There were demons _and_ a witch, and you did not understand why, but right now it didn't matter. What mattered was saving Sam, and killing all those bastards. But how would you do it, now that Dean was rendered unconscious and Sam was under that Witches control?

There was no tactile way of going about this – you just had to do _something._

And so it was decided; in one swift motion, you moved towards the knife, grabbed it and sprinted towards the nearest demon. You were so fast, it took them all a moment to realize what was going on – by the time you'd already killed one of the demons.

Another two jumped at you and from the corner of your eye, you saw the fight breaking out between Crowley and Azazel. Slicing up a demon right through his guts, you then turned swiftly, taking on another two. You had to focus on your fight, but you couldn't help glancing over at Crowley a few times. He'd brought Azazel to his knees, a look in his eyes that made your blood run cold, a look that struck you with awe and fear at the same time. He seemed to have the upper-hand, just like you would've expected, until-

„Stop right there,“ Crowley said in a cold voice. It took you a moment to realize who he was talking to: Ms. Wendel had, in the heat of the moment, made her way towards the room where Mr. Rafford and his son were being held, Sam following her, gun held high, as if to protect her.

If it weren't for Crowley, she'd gotten away unnoticed. She'd have already taken the boy and the man, or who knows what she'd done with them... and with Sam.

But why did he care? He had Azazel at his mercy, right there, and he had halted everything to stop her. Why?

That's when you saw it: Azazel was gaining back control and with the advantage of the momentum, he made his move towards Crowley, sending him back against the wall with a loud bolt that looked rather painful.

„You know, Amelia,“ Azazel started talking, his eyes set on Crowley. You figured he meant Ms. Wendel.

„This is about so much more than a little boy... You will realize it once I am back on the throne. So this is the moment where you decide: you can either follow me and contribute to a greater cause, or... you can keep playing your little revenge games, but I _will_ find you and I _will_ kill you.“

Ms. Wendel was frozen to the spot, but you could see her dilemma.

It was now or never, you realized, as your heart sped up at the sight of Azazel walking towards Crowley with conviction.

There were still two demons fighting you, but, using your last bit of holy water and shaking them off even if only for a few seconds, you decided to take your aim at him.

Breaking into a run, you striked out, but Azazel was too fast: he turned around and grabbed your arm with an incredible strength, pain shooting up your arm. With you in his tight grasp he imitated your move, instead swiftly cutting into Crowley's skin.

You didn't have an issue with killing, with cutting into flesh and seeing it dissolve into warm blood – that's not a luxury one could afford as a hunter. But when the blade met Crowley's skin you felt it so deeply, the resistance of the flesh and your heart nearly stopped as you heard Crowley's scream.

In that very moment a gun shot rang through the hall, making you all freeze.

This was the moment, this was it. Azazel had been distracted by the gun shot, looking over to see who it had been, and you seized your chance, as you spun around, using all the strength you could gather to turn around your arm and sink the blade right into his chest.

His grip on you quickly loosened, and for good measure, you stabbed him another two times, breathing in relief, as you watched the life drain right out of that monster.

„You stay right where you are,“ Dean's voice carried over from where the gunshot had sounded. He had fired a shot to stop her from running off with Sam.

You quickly turned around and found Sam pointing his gun at you, and Dean's at Ms. Wendel.

„You will undo whatever it is you've done to my brother, _right now_ ,“ Dean said, slowly, and the threat in his voice was imminent.

A few seconds passed and all you heard was Crowley's breathing, the pain evident, and Sam's empty face as his finger moved towards the trigger.

„Don't do this,“ you said. It wasn't clear whether you said it to Sam or Ms. Wendel, but the next few lines were clearly directed at her.

„It must hurt. Even after all these years, it must hurt so bad... I can't imagine what it feels like to lose the person you love most,“ you said softly, just lightly glancing over at Crowley.

„But this- this doesn't have to be you. You're better than them, than all the... the bastards who keep making this town what it is today, who make the people the kind of people who will ruin a good man like yours was... You can still walk away from this, just- free my brother, nobody has to get hurt.“

For a few seconds she just stared at you. There was something in her eyes that made you think you'd gotten through to her. Just for a split second Sam lowered the gun, and she replied coldly, „I can't, believe me. There is no turning back from this.“

Now looking at Crowley she added, „I'm sure you'll understand very soon. Crowley,“ she then said, as if to say goodbye to him. How come she knew him?

Sam had lowered the gun a little while she was talking, but then, suddenly, he turned around and with a swift shot, she had collpased onto the ground, and Sam with her.

For a second you just stood there, trying to process what had happened.

Your shock was nothing in comparison to Sam's confusion, when he promptly came to his senses again. „What- what happened?“ he asked. Relief washed over you, seeing that the spell had vanished along with her life, and Sam seemed okay. Instantly, your attention turned towards Crowley, who was leaning against the wall, his shirt stained dark red and his eyes closed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write so much smut, it gets hard to write solid case plots, so I hope I did this justice. Tell me if there's mistakes, things that didn't add up... I live for feedback. Love you all!


	18. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the racy hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude man I don't know about the chapter title. And I've been travelling so I haven't had time to write, but now I finally did and here u go.

You ran towards him, already feeling tears welling up in your eyes; you couldn't have stopped them even if you'd wanted to.

Falling onto your knees next to him, your hands ripped open his shirt to reveal his stomach; his eyes faintly fluttered open and a weak smile played around his lips when he realized it was you.

Your hand ghosted across his wound and upon finding that it was not deep enough to be lethal, rather than ceasing, your tears increased, now rolling down your cheeks in abundance. They were tears of relief, more than anything else.

You leaned down, your head against his shoulder, half-laughing and half-crying, as his hushed voice reached your ears.

„No need to worry about me, my love.“

You started to calm down, even more so as you realized what you were doing. You broke the embrace and found Sam and Dean staring at you from across the room.

Dean looked away, he looked rather pissed off as he turned around and walked off in the direction of Mr. Rafford and his son.

Then you looked at Sam. Just a moment passed where you weren't sure what he was thinking, but they way his eyes met yours, you could've sworn you saw some kind of sympathy in them.

But that was non-sense, wasn't it? You didn't even want to think about what they would say once all of this would be over.

The moment ended quickly, when Dean walked in with Mr. Rafford, who was holding his child in his arms.

„Thank you, thank you so much,“ he kept saying and Dean's annoyance was obvious.

„Stop thanking me, and just- do me a favor and get your child and wife as far away from this scum town as possible,“ Dean spat in reply.

Mr. Rafford nodded and his face was very pale underneath the splatters of blood; he seemed ashamed. _Good_ , you thought.

„All clear?“ he asked Sam, who answered with a nod.

„The police will be here soon, and we have to go _now_ if we don't want to end up in jail again,“ he then simply said, not even looking at you.

„Not without Crowley,“ you said quietly, but they heard you clear as day.

You saw Dean thinking, he did this when he was angry but knew it was not the place or time to get into it: he stared ahead, jaw clenched, and just the slightest shake of his head told you he knew discussing this now was hopeless.

„Make sure no one sees him,“ he growled before walking off with Mr. Rafford, guiding him up the stairs.

Sam helped you pull Crowley back up on his feet, then helping you support him.

„Thanks, Moose, but I can walk,“ Crowley said, after which Sam let him go and instead took the lead, gun still in hand, just in case.

He could walk, but he needed your aid. A small part of you thought maybe he didn't like admitting his weakness to anyone but you.

You got him up the stairs and took a back-door of the club, fortunately not meeting a single soul on the way.

Dean had parked the car there and you quickly helped Crowley get in the back, then you got in on the other side, so that Mr. Rafford was now seated between the two of you.

They were going to drop him off at the police station and the whole ride there was fortunately filled with Sam's explanation of what Mr. Rafford was going to tell the officers: That he'd been tied up there, in the same place they had taken his son, and he didn't know why. All he knew was there had been a huge fight and by the time he had managed to free himself, everybody had been dead. That's when the FBI agents found him and his son; they brought him back to the station, but they had to leave for another urgent case.

Later-on Sam would make a call to the police station to let them know that the FBI would be taking over that case and they would no longer have to worry about it (for reasons he couldn't tell him, due to highly confidential contents).

Before closing the door on him, you had to know one more thing.

„How come both the witch and the demon's came to get your son? And how come they ended up torturing _you_?“ you asked, still trying to put together the pieces in your head.

„Well,“ he started, obviously very embarrassed to talk about this. „I first made a deal with this... demon. He said I would have the biggest house, actually sell my paintings, never worry about paying the bills again... If he could have my first child. I made the deal, and not long after I... I guess I got caught up in the rush of it all, in how people started to respect me. So when Ms. Wendel told me she could give me even more, the highest rank in the club, more than just money – _importance._ People would look at me and see someone worth looking at. I couldn't- couldn't resist. So I promised her my second child. The thing is, our first, well- my wife had a miscarriage, and so the demon wanted to take our next child, which I'd promised to the witch already... I-“

For a moment he just stood there, rubbing the back of his neck, unsure how to finish the story he was telling.

„Thank you. I don't know what I'd have done without you.“

You closed the door, and you knew you weren't the only one who felt disgusted with him.

„He would've either died or gone back to his prestigious, perfect fucking life, that's what he would've done without us,“ Dean said sharply.

„So... Demon and witch, I guess we were both right, huh?“ you said, but there was no reply and the car filled with an uncomfortable, tense silence, that made you wish that man was still sitting next to you and Sam was still talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please leave feedback!


	19. This is gonna Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get back to the bunker. It's time to address the obvious issue. Y/N wants her brothers to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡ ♡ ♡

Once he'd parked the car, Dean went ahead without a word. Sam hung back a bit, as you helped Crowley into the bunker.

Dean's loathing was evident, even more so when Crowley took a seat at the table in the hall. You avoided looking into Dean's eyes as you quickly got the first aid kit; but out of the corner of your eye you could see him pouring a glass. You were just surprised he was still in the same room as you. You'd expected him to storm off immediately.

Turning the chair next to Crowley, so that you would face him when you sat down, you opened the first aid kit and found everything you needed to clean and sow up his wound.

As you lightly padded Crowley's wound with disinfectant, you snuck a glance up at Dean who was just downing a glass of whiskey.

It seemed the liquid courage took effect immediately, as he turned to you and, his voice almost bursting with tension – he was clearly holding back –, asked, „So for how long exactly has this been going on again?“

„It isn't,“ Crowley answered abruptly – to your surprise as you thought it was obviously not a good idea to try and lie to him now. On top of that, Crowley was probably the last person in the world Dean wanted to talk to right now.

For a short moment there was a palpable tension in the air. You knew lying to Dean was pointless – he wouldn't believe you, but furthermore, this couldn't go on forever and truthfully, now was as good a time as any. Just like a bandaid, it needed to be done, be ripped off, and it was going to be painful but all you could do was get it over with as quickly as possible.

„Don't-“ you said, before Dean could reply.

„It's time they know.“

Turning your attention to Dean, you inhaled, working up all the courage you could muster, so you'd at least be confident and calm in this situation. Letting your emotions, your worries, your anger get the best of you would not help anyone right now. Especially because Dean was already treating you like a child – you needed to prove to him that you could go about this in a mature way.

„For a month,“ you started. „After the... incident we didn't have any contact until... Do you remember the vampire case down in the county? Yeah, well, I didn't exactly get kidnapped by them. I mean- I did, but then Crowley saved me. He was the one who put me in that warehouse, so you wouldn't suspect anything about us. We've been... seeing each other eve since.“

You paused just for a moment. Dean wasn't looking at you, his grip on the glass in his hand was tight, and you knew it took his everything not to explode into anger right there. This silence, this quiet disappointment was just as bad though, if not worse. Nevertheless, you persisted. You wanted him to understand – at least you were going to try before giving up.

„Look, he saved me. He's never hurt me and he never will.“

You felt Crowley glance up at you.

„I trust him. I know _you_ don't, but I should be able to make my own judgement calls every once in a while, don't you think?“

Dean was still not looking at you. It just made you feel like you had to keep talking, keep trying.

„I know you're trying to protect me, and I am so thankful for it, I really am. But I've gotten pretty good at protecting myself; I've picked up a few tricks, you know,“ you continued, trying to lighten the mood a little. It was obviously not working and you felt yourself grow more desperate and frustrated.

With a soft sigh, you finally said, „Dean. I know you don't like this but- just talk to me, will you?“

For the tiniest second you thought he might just do that. But then he downed his drink, just about slammed the glass onto the table and, after grabbing the bottle of whiskey, walked off to his room – closing the door behind him with plenty of noise.

When he slammed the door shut, you flinched slightly, your heart jumping up only to then sink like a rock. It took you a moment to compose yourself, as you felt tears welling up along with a mixture of anger and hurt, pushing at your chest.

Laying a hand on your thigh, Crowley looked at you intently – it wasn't really pity, not an emotion you could place; but you felt immediately calmer, as if his dark eyes symbolized a safe haven, his presence wrapping around you and holding you up, letting you know: you're not alone and you will be okay.

A shaky sigh left your lips and as you willed yourself to get back to patching up your boyfriend, you met Sam's eyes. It was barely a few seconds, but the way he looked at you didn't feel like he was judging, or as disappointed as Dean was. He seemed sympathetic, for heaven's sake.

Unsure of whether you were right about that, you quickly directed your attention to Crowley again, picking up the needle and thread to stitch up his wound.

„This is gonna hurt,“ you informed him gently.

„I'd rather it be you than anyone else,“ he replied, a sly grin on his lips, managing – even though you really didn't feel like smiling in that moment – to put the smallest smile on your lips, nevertheless.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope I can get the next chapter up soon. This is as far as I wrote in my last session - usually I'd wait until I had one or two.more chapters done before posting this one but I wanted you to have this. Please bear with me, things are a bit much at the moment. I love writing this so much though, and your continued reactions make me so happy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I'll soon get to share another one with you. ♡  
> (There's a lot coming your way hehe)


	20. Let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the fight with Dean the reader is very upset. Crowley always knows how to help... and this time in a rather new way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, fam. I've not been feeling great and it took me a while to get to this and I'm sorry about that. I appreciate all of your comments, it makes me happy to know you're enjoying my writing, so please forgive me lmao. BUT HERE YOU GO a really long, smutty chapter. And I'll make sure the next one won't take as long. Enjoyyy!

It had been a whole day, but you felt like you hadn't slept at all, and like you'd been thinking non-stop for the past 24 hours – about Dean and him not talking to you, or how Sam had looked at you and what it had meant... Your endless thoughts were interrupted when Crowley, once again, appeared in your room.

„Crowley,“ you said, voice low. You didn't want your brothers to hear. (You knew, really, that the two of you had been louder at times, but all you could think about was how you would get Dean to talk to you again. Him finding Crowley in your bedroom would not be a good start.)

„What are you doing here?“

„I'd have expected a warmer welcome, but alright,“ he replied, slightly grinning.

„Sorry, I- Of course I'm happy to see you.“ You walked over to him and put your arms over his shoulders, hands lazily resting behind his neck.

„How are your wounds?“

Crowley brought up his hands, embracing you and pulling you in closely. „Almost all healed up.“

Lowering his head, he kissed you softly. Feelings of affection rolled through you, but you were still worried. And he knew.

„I think you need a bit of distraction, don't you?“

His grin was smug and seductive, one eyebrow slightly raised.

„We really shouldn't... Dean not talking to me is enough, if he walks in on us again... I doubt he'll ever talk to me again.“

Your eyes were averted, you couldn't imagine what that would be like. There had never been a time you and Dean weren't talking; even if you were fighting or he was angry with you for some reason, you always talked. Sure, in passive aggressive tones, but at least you _talked_.

„Well, then come with me,“ Crowley simply said and you didn't know what he meant by that, but you'd soon find out.

It was an incredible feeling. Your room started spinning, just for the shortest moment you felt gravity changing, and then you were back on solid ground – but no longer in your bedroom.

The room – or hall, it was so big, it was probably appropriate to call it a hall – seemed to be made of stone, shining in grey and almost black tones; you saw a huge door and a carpet leading into the room.

„It's about time anyway,“ Crowley said right beneath you. Then he started walking in slow, confident strokes.

You turned around to see where he was going – and were met with an indescribable view.

_The throne_.

In the middle of the room stood a throne, made of a similar material as the rest of the room, but it was darker and there was something to it that you couldn't put into words. It seemed to glow, almost. Its shape was beautiful and it stood a bit higher, a few steps leading up to it, covered in dark red carpet. _I'm in hell_ , you realized. This was not how you'd imagined it. It seemed so... classy. Then again it was Crowley's throne room. Of course it would be classy.

He had now reached the throne and sat down in it, filling it perfectly, fitting into that picture like a missing puzzle piece.

His eyes were still resting on you, simply watching you with content eyes.

It was just Crowley, the man you'd gotten to know rather well by now. The man you'd woken up to before. And there he was sitting, almost casually. But something about it seemed so... different. You were trying hard to find the right words, but there was nothing you could compare this to.

Those eyes had pierced through you a thousand times, yet now you felt so strange. Speechless. Like he was looking at you for the first time. There was something about him in this throne that was pulling you in, though something about it scared you to your bones as well. Maybe the closest way to describe what you were witnessing was _power_. Crowley had always been powerful, strong, he had always had an immense presence. But right here, on this throne... Nothing could compare to this.

Now you felt a pull, and you knew it was Crowley. The pull in your chest you'd felt up until this moment hadn't been strong enough to make you walk over there, but there was no way anyone could feel _this_ kind of force and resist it. Slowly, almost respectfully, you walked up the heavy stone steps, stopping in front of your king.

A slight smile sat on his lips, content with your obedience. He was still watching you patiently.

„Come, princess,“ he said, and just for a moment the irony struck you, of him calling you princess while sitting in his throne.

Hesitantly, you walked towards him, and as he simply sat there, waiting patiently, you figured that's what he wanted, and you realized, that's what _you_ wanted. Carefully still, you straddled his lap, and his hands came around to embrace you, steadying you with strong hands.

Again, this feeling of strange mesmerization came over you – his hooded eyes familiar and yet awe-struckingly beautiful like never before. His hands on your back felt strong and you felt more sensitive at his touch than normally, even though it was still just... him.

Only when he spoke, you realized for how long you'd been absorbed in your thoughts, awe flushing through you, and minutes had passed like mere seconds.

„What are you thinking about?“ he asked. He was eyeing you curiously, yet with a tone of satisfaction.

„I- I don't know. Just... you,“ you replied weakly, not knowing how to put into words what you were feeling.

„Well... Let's think a little less, and... do a little more.“

You felt a blush creeping into your cheeks and you wondered, barely, why you were feeling everything so intensely. Then he kissed you and your thoughts did, in fact, nearly completely slip away.

The kiss started out slow, sensual; suddenly you were overcome with the need of feeling him, of feeling as close to him as humanely possible. Your hand grabbed his suit, pulling him in and deepening the kiss.

You felt his smile, as he returned the kiss passionately.

For a moment or two, he let you have this, let you pull him in and seize a bit of control. But then he broke the kiss, his hand wrapping around your wrist which let go of his suit.

„As much as I love your enthusiasm... I need you to remember, you're not the one calling the shots here.“

Something in his voice was almost a tiny little... threatening. And it thrilled you to your core. Now that he had interrupted the kiss, the quiet air of the hall settling around you again, you realized how out of breath you were.

Crowley started kissing your neck, rather softly, but very aware of how much you loved it when his stubble scratched across your skin. And you sat there, giving in, your breathing filling your ears, and only being replaced when Crowley started speaking in a low voice, right at your ear.

„I knew you'd like it here... It does some strange things to humans, but I don't doubt you're strong enough.“

There was not time left to wonder, when his hand made its way into the seam of your trousers, fingers carressing your lips through the soft material of your underwear.

„mmh,“ he almost moaned, still right at your ear, and simply the sound of his voice sent chills down your spine, making you even more aroused than you were already.

„You're already soaking wet for me.“

His fingers teased at your entrance and you started to dissolve into a mewling mess above him. „Please, sir, please,“ you whined incoherently. You could barely think straight and yet it wouldn't have occurred to you to call him anything other than 'sir', not now, not here.

„What is it that you want, my love?“ he asked teasingly, knowing exactly what you wanted. But he liked to hear it, watch dirty words fall from your lips as you gave yourself over to him completely. And it's what you wanted, too.

„I- I need to feel you, deep inside of me,“ you breathed, hips moving against his fingers. „I want you to claim me, 'cause I'm yours, all-“ you gasped as his fingers slipped into you, your wet heat welcoming them dearly.

„Mine,“ he finished you sentence as he picked up speed and readjusted your position on him so he could hold you better, because he knew you'd be taken over by pleasure soon enough.

Your hands were resting somewhere on his shoulders and chest, half clenching to find some kind of hold, on the other hand unable to do anything but relax against him as he worked you up to your release. His thumb found your clit and your moans now freely fell from your lips, almost a low chant as you finally spiraled into your orgasm and- finally, the tight coil in your stomach sprung free and waves of pleasure rolled over you, better than you could remember ever feeling it.

It was a long orgasm and afterwards you sat there for a few seconds, eyes closed, still reveling in the incredible feeling.

When you opened your eyes you found your king watching you just as before, with dark, content eyes.

You sat up a little straighter, willing back some energy. Oh, you had nothing against a second round, and the bulge in Crowley's pants was evident; it was time to take care of your king. Yet you still felt a little too relaxed to get all 'enthusiastic' again right away. But you brought your hands around him, looking right into his eyes. „Now...“ you started. You had lowered your hands onto the throne behind Crowley's head, to steady yourself, and the moment your skin made contact with the cold, hard material... you didn't know what it was, but energy shot through you, a kind of energy you'd never felt.

It felt... kind of cold. Cold and overwhelmingly fast, shooting into your veins and speeding up your breath even though you thought you'd recovered from your orgasm. At first you questioned what this was, what you were feeling so suddenly. But then... then you looked at Crowley and your every thought turned into hot, white desire. You felt his hands around you, drawing circles into your skin, you felt his eyes on you, every place your bodies touched... all you wanted was to feel him closer, nearer, hotter, rougher... You bent down – and it took all of your will power not to rip off his shirt and pull him into a kiss more intense than all the ones you'd had, but you knew, deep down, he was still the one who had the upper hand here – and your voice came out as a more seductive and rough sounding voice than yours ever was, as you asked him, „Can we get to the 'feeling you deep inside of me' part now?“ Adding a shy little bite to his earlobe, you felt his hands tighten on your back, pulling you closer.

You felt his hard-on against you, and, head still almost burried in his warm, familiarly scented neck, you dragged your hips to rub your wet pussy all along his clothed shaft. You rocked back and forth and you were both getting too worked up to wait any longer.

You could tell he was close to just ripping off your pants, but then he suddenly broke the embrace and told you to get up.

„Undress,“ he simply ordered and you obeyed. You weren't patient, but you put on a show nonetheless – turning around and bending down as you pulled down your pants along with your panties, completely offering yourself up to him.

You felt his hands find your ass, grab it, carress it, cherish it. And Then he turned you back around and pulled you onto him. He must've undone his trousers as you were taking off yours; his hard, aching cock was right there and he barely lost any time as he pulled you towards him, you meeting his moves by pushing down eagerly after he'd lined up his cock.

You could've been prepped more; but you couldn't care less in this moment, and the tinge of pain as he stretched you out deliciously mixed up with the incredible stimulation you felt as he filled you up completely.

„Oh,“ you breathed, and it turned into a moan that clearly showed you were no longer holding back. And Crowley loved seeing you like this, free and wild and dissolved in pleasure.

Your one hand was grasping his hair on the back of his head and your other hand held onto the throne again; and just like before it sent cold thrills through you. Into your fingers and up your arms, into your every vein flowed an incredible, energizing feeling; and... it was as if there were voices, hundreds of them – no longer just yours. Moaning with you, or screaming even; the lines between pain and pleasure were blurred.

„Look at me,“ you heard Crowley growl and only then you noticed how gone you'd been, head thrown back, eyes closed, dissolving in whatever this was.

You opened your eyes as Crowley's hand tilted your head back towards him, by putting a hand on the back of your head.

He was pumping in and out of you steadily and as you made eye contact you suddenly became hyper aware of every move he made, of the way his skin brushed up against yours with every thrust, how together you felt hard and raw, yet wet and soft; and it almost hurt to keep your eyes locked on his – but at the same time, it felt impossible to look away.

„I- fuck,“ you breathed, as it all became a little too much, the pleasure, the sensations, Crowley's eyes and hands on you.

He replied by pulling you in for a kiss. It was gentle but you felt every part of it magnified by five hundred.

Simply leaning against him, foreheads almost touching, you whispered, „My king.“

„Yes, my love?“

„I- I'm so close, please, please-“ he didn't need to hear more and his hand found your clit, touching you just the right way.

You sharply inhaled and you felt your core quivering, muscles tensing as the stimulation became too much to bear. It went on like that for seconds, feeling him so close, and the pleasure nearly taking over – _nearly_ – as you heard the many moans in your head, accompanying you towards your peak.

And then finally, after what felt like minutes and minutes of _almosts_ , it rolled over you, all of it.

No, you'd never felt anything like this. Never.

The tight coil in your stomach sprung free, but the familiar feeling was so much stronger than ever before; your toes curled up, your hands grasped for better hold and you felt your pussy clench and unclench as your whole system shut down for a moment, leaving you to gasp for breath as the cold and yet hot energy rushed through you at high speed, increasing every little sensation you were feeling. „Fuck, Crowley, Crowley,“ you chanted incoherently and then you felt him come as well, as you milked his hot, spent, aching cock desperately.

His hands pulled you closer and even though you felt him lose control, you felt him shudder and moan underneath you, you also still felt him watching you, drinking in the view of you at your most vulnerable and your most powerful.

It seemed like forever until slowly, slowly but surely, everything ebbed off, leaving you more exhausted and relaxed by the second. You felt strange and dizzy and when you moved your hand from the throne to rest on Crowley's shoulder, a sudden feeling of soberness overcame you, but exhaustion settled in your bones nevertheless.

Breathing into each other, you sat there for a little while, both coming down from probably the best orgasms you'd ever had.

Crowley pulled you in closer and got up, swiftly carrying you with him, your tired eyes resting on the throne you were now distancing from. You didn't know where you were going, but next thing you knew, he laid you down on a bed. The dark red, almost black sheets were so damn soft, you wondered for a moment why he had never brought you here. Was this his bed? His normal bed, in which he slept every night?

He started to undress you, unbutton your shirt; for a moment you objected, told him you could do this yourself, but then you let it go and let him do his thing, as you were incredibly tired. For real, you'd never felt this worn out after sex.

You saw glimpses of him undressing – what a view – when you sometimes found the energy to open your eyes for just a little while.

Then he moved you up in the bed and pulled the blanket over you, not before getting in next to you.

He seemed to be less exhausted, as he was propped up on his arm next to you, drawing shapes into your skin with his fingers, simply looking at you.

You were too tired to talk now though and so you simply cherished this moment, the quiet, him besides you. But then you wanted him closer and you turned to cuddle up against him. His arms welcomed you gladly, pulling you in and settling down with you; the smell of him was all around you and it was strange how this bed you'd never been in felt just like home.

„I should get back soon,“ you said, before falling asleep.

 


	21. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She gets back, Sam has something to say.

Carefully, you closed the room to your door. It had been hard saying goodbye to Crowley, but at last he'd brought you back here, and when you sat on your bed, exhaustion took over once more.

You quickly went to the bathroom and now you were ready to get into bed and fall the fuck asleep – when suddenly you heard a soft knock on your door.

As you opened it, Sam's kind eyes met yours.

„Hi. Just heard you in the corridor. Can't sleep either?“

„Yeah... But I'm getting tired now, think I'll be able to sleep soon.“

He nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips.

„So, uh... about yesterday...“

You looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes. If he knew where you'd just been...

„I'm sorry,“ Sam said and you thought you'd misheard.

Looking up at him you barely knew what to say.

He continued, „I, uh- Dean was a little harsh. I mean, this _is_ a lot, but... if you're sure, then I trust you.“

Had he really just said that? You'd known Sam wasn't as stubborn as Dean was and simply by the fact that he hadn't stormed off with a bottle of whiskey meant he wasn't quite as angry as his brother.

But nevertheless, you thought he'd be angry at you. Disappointed. Yeah, you thought you'd see it in his eyes. Dean got angry, loud, judgmental. But with Sam – you'd feel it when he looked at you, something hooded in his eyes; he'd talk to you still, but he'd be so reserved and it would break your heart.

And here he was, _apologizing,_ telling you he trusted you. You were at a loss of words.

„You need to give him some time.“

You nodded, swallowing down all the thoughts in your head.

„Just give him some time,“ Sam said again. He looked like he pitied you a little, but at least he didn't look disappointed. God, were you relieved.

„Thanks, Sam,“ you just said, not knowing what else to say, really. But you wanted him to know how much it meant to you.

With a soft nod, half a smile and a gentle „good night“, he was off to his room again.

Quietly, you closed the door behind you and found your bed with a loud sigh.

There was so much to think about. You were kind of overwhelmed with everything Sam had just said. But was he really okay with this? With you and Crowley? And yeah, Dean would need time, a lot of it. In your head you were almost sure it would take literal eternity for him to come around. But Sam had seemed sure. And you wanted to believe him. But how much time would Dean need? Could things ever be the same between you? Would your relationship always be in the way of yours and Dean's?

Relationship... and what was it, anyway? You and Crowley had never actually talked about it and it's not like you'd ever done this before, have an affair with the king of hell. Was it just that, an affair? Your mind darted to how intimate you'd been today and you told yourself it was more, of course it was more. But a part of you worried nonetheless – what if this _was_ just sex? What if you weren't special to him, like you thought you were?

You shook your head, trying to get those thoughts out of your mind. As you fell asleep you slipped into many dreams, all stained with worry. But at least you were finally asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NOT given up on this story. I have never written something this long and I (obsessively) finish the things I start. Just bear with me, I've been having a bit of a rough time lately. But I'm still here, and a lot of exciting chapters are on the way. :) Thank you so much for your continued support, enthusiasm and comments, they make me so happy.


	22. He knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another fulfilling night with Crowley the reader returns home to something quite shocking.

„Oh god, fuck,“ you breathed. His mouth around you was hot and dancing just the right way.

Crowley lightly hummed and it resonated all the way up your spine, bringing you even closer to the edge. He was truly great at this. He'd fucked you senseless already, and _damn_ , that had been good, bent over the kind of way you'd really feel it the next day.

He'd filled you up good, and now you were wetter than you could even grasp and his mouth was on your clit, two fingers inside of you, working you the rest of the way to get you there as well. He'd never leave you unsatisfied... unless you'd been a real bad girl. But that was something that would yet have to happen.

Thinking about it, you realized he'd been pretty easy on you in general... yes, some name calling here and there, but you barely had any bruises or marks these days and there was less teasing than other times... but yeah, you couldn't think about that right now.

Not when he was holding you like this, sucking on your clit and making you feel who you belonged to.

„Fuck, yes,“ you moaned; you were getting so close. As you finally came, waves of bliss rolled over you and your body gave in. Crowley was right there to catch you and hold you up – or well, lay you down.

„That was just incredible,“ you breathed and you could picture the way Crowley was grinning smugly in that instant. You would've loved to keep your eyes closed and doze off, maybe talk a bit (if you'd find the energy), but you knew you couldn't.

Opening your eyes and willing yourself to sit up, you said, „We've got to get up early tomorrow, I can't stay.“

Crowley pulled you in for a kiss, his hand running through your hair and along your back, where his fingers on your naked skin just made you wish you could stay even more.

„Too bad,“ he murmured and kissed you again.

It was getting heated again and you knew if you didn't go now, you wouldn't go at all.

„I really can't,“ you said once more and with another soft kiss, you got up to find your clothes.

***

Your legs felt like jelly. It sucked that you had to leave so soon. But this hunt was important and not being on your best game would not help the situation with Dean...

After laying out all the weapons you were going to take with you, neatly organized on your desk, you chose some clothes and stuffed them into a duffel bag. You were tired as hell, but you needed to make sure you had everything. That being said, there was a book you'd need... You'd started reading it, but it wasn't here in your room. _Must be in the library_ , you thought.

As you opened the door and scurried outside, you realized there was light flooding from the library into the hallway. Who was up, doing research at this time? Glancing at your phone, you realized it wasn't very late. Quietly, you stepped into the big room. Dean was sat at the table. Books were scattered around but he didn't seem to be reading any of them – no, as a matter of fact, he was staring right at you.

„Where the _hell_ have you been?“ he asked sharply, and you were more than taken aback. You hadn't expected him to talk to you in such a tone, if at all, and then the meaning of his words sank in. The speed of your heartbeat picked up as you realized _he knows_. But how?

„I asked you a question.“

You were frozen on the spot, your mind racing to find some kind of excuse. At last you settled for denial.

„What do you mean? I was in my room,“ you replied, trying to seem confused.

„Don't play dumb with me. I came to your room to talk to you and you weren't there, so you better give me a real good explanation, you know, other than some kinda demonic forces zapping you through world history.“

Swallowing drily, you didn't find any possible reply to this. Nothing you could say would convince him otherwise... what was the point? He knew.

„ _What the hell were you thinking?_ “ he nearly shouted at you, anger rising in his chest. He'd gotten up out of his seat, knuckles white against the wooden table.

„As if it wasn't bad enough that you're blindly trusting him like this- he could do anything to you, _nobody_ would know.“

„He wouldn't,“ you simply said. It was an automatic response, more than a thought-out one.

„And how do you know that? He's a demon – the king of hell, for _fuck's sake_! How can you trust _anything_ he says?!“

He inhaled sharply, as if trying to calm down. He closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face. For a moment you felt bad for making him feel this way. But then you reminded yourself: he was wrong, not you. He just couldn't see beyond his long put-together world view.

...Then again, there was a reason he saw things the way he did. He had years of experience, he'd dealt with thousands of demons... of course it was difficult to believe there was an exception to all of this. But was there?

„I-“ he started again, his face now looking just tired, as if the anger had drained out of him and left a sunken hollow. „I can't even look at you right now. But you won't be leaving my side, understood? We're leaving tomorrow, 7am.“

With that, he grabbed the bottle that had obviously been keeping him company, and walked past you, out of the library.

You stood there for a little while longer, at first not wanting to cross paths with him again, and waiting until he was in his room, for certain. And then you just kept standing there, as your thoughts spun out of control.

Was he right? Were you stupid to trust... The king of hell? But why was Dean so sure he always knew everything? Because your heart rebelled at the mere thought of Crowley not meaning his touches, or his sweet nothings, of you just being another... fuck doll to him. That just wasn't true and Dean didn't understand. But... but what if? What if maybe, your were blinded, blinded by how much you liked Crowley. You shook your head. _I'm done_. You thought. _Done letting him dictate what I feel._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have no idea how fucking bad I feel for taking this long to update.
> 
> I still stand by my statement of how I'm definitely going to continue and write this story till the very end, a lot of people are really invested and it makes me so happy that you're enjoying something I've written. I'll do my best to give you updates more often.
> 
> (I'm doing really well lately but have a lot going on and somehow the motivation for fanfiction seems to just have gone on vacation. But I don't care, I'm doing my best and will have a new, probably longer update within the next 1-2 weeks.)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sweethearts. I am truly sorry for the silence. Things have been a lot & my inspiration for this sort of left me but I swore to myself I'd never be the sort of person who doesn't finish a fanfic people are invested in. So here we go & I'll try to update again soon. Enjoy!

He was serious about what he'd said. It was almost noon when you checked into your motel, and you hadn't had a second by yourself. Every bathroom stop, Dean had come with you, waiting just outside the door, with the imminent threat of him coming in if you were taking too long. This hunt was going to be exhausting.

Sam went to get some lunch, while you and Dean got a head start on the research. The air was awkward and tense around you, but at least the reading gave you an excuse not to look at each other or interact – you waited to share all important information until Sam was back.

When he entered the hostel room, the saturated smell of greasy foods following in the air, you relaxed a little in your chair. It was good to focus on something other than Dean's hostility; and as you dug into your burger, Sam managed to start a conversation that was finally completely focused on the case at hand and not laced with so much awkwardness or anger as the silences had been.

For once you all agreed: the signs were all pointing to a spirit of some sort. The plan looked pretty simple: pay a visit to that house in the evening. But first, it would be smart to collect some info on the last occupants of this house. To your surprise, Sam convinced Dean that he could leave you with him, to go and talk to some residents in the neighborhood while Dean would go and talk to the sheriff, one on one. You weren't sure why he'd done it. Out of compassion? Was he of the opinion that Dean was overreacting? Not quite, you thought later-on. Sam took Dean's instructions to watch you closely very seriously. But his supervision felt less intrusive and less angry than Dean's, so you couldn't really complain.

\- - -

The front yard seemed strangely idylic, considering what had recently happened in the house it belonged to. Some flowers looked slightly withered, but many were blooming gracefully – it hadn't been that long since the murder, after all.

The sky was now a soft blue, that was still giving off light but the sun had long settled and you could feel it in the air that dawn was settling fast over this town.

After walking up the steps to the front porch and entering into the house that would better be described as a villa, you found yourself in awe of the furnishings in this wide room. It all looked sort of old-fashion but in the most elegant way possible. There were sets of porcelain displayed in old but beautiful cupboards. The carpet on the floor muffled your steps as you slowly made your way in.

Of course this place felt eerie – you thought of scooby doo and the seemingly endless hallways they chased supernatural beings through, except this felt more real and more dangerous than a kids show – but something about this place was almost too... _romantic_ to produce such a vengeful spirit.

You pushed away your thoughts and followed your brothers deeper into the villa. Every once in a while there'd be a creak or other muffled noises, some were easily explained by the old age of this house, but you knew there was more going on than antique wood.

Suddenly all the lights shut off and you felt the three of you freeze for a moment. Then you turned on your flashlights and gathered your courage to walk on.

„I think I heard something over there,“ Dean whispered and moved in said direction, Sam right beneath him and you– you were going to follow right after, but then something caught your eye. Around the corner there was a painting picturing a family. They looked classy, composed and... who could tell, really, but you thought they looked happy. The frame was shimmering slightly golden and you admired it for a second, when a noise – this time clearly not produced by the wooden doors or floors – made you turn your head and breathe in sharply. You didn't hear Sam or Dean anymore. _Fuck_. You turned quickly, trying to follow in their direction but you had no idea where they'd gone and the many doors on either side were not helping your confusion.

 

Suddenly you heard something creak in the room next door. With a quick, practiced hand motion, you opened up the door, swiftly stepping inside with your gun held high and your flashlight crossed above it. The room was dark but in the corner of your eye you saw something - or someone - move and you turned around quickly, ready to shoot, when suddenly, you felt your limbs freeze up. Your whole body went stiff and unmovable and a panic rushed into your chest. But then your eyes settled on the creature in front of you and when you realized it was Crowley stepping into the spot of your flashlight now, you relaxed a little.

He had his finger in front of his mouth as if to tell you to be quiet. Then he slowly released his hold on you and your arms fell to the side. "What are you doing here?!" You said in a whispered voice that wasn't as quiet as you'd intended it to be. "You shouldn't be anywhere near us right now."

He looked at you, cocking his head like he sometimes did, analyzing your features instead of replying.

"Dean knows I was with you last night and- he hasn't let me out of his sight, not for a minute. Well, until now."

Crowley sighed, in his head probably strengthened in his dislike against Dean. You were a little surprised when, still not answering, he walked up to you and laid his hand against your cheek. His face changed a bit, even giving place to a slight smile. "Good thing you got lost then," he said. Narrowing your eyes, you wondered if he had anything to do with it, but then he kissed you and you melted into him.

You'd really missed him, even more so now that Dean was watching over you like an angel of doom and it felt wrong even to think about your king.

Then your lips parted again and your thoughts just about fell out of your mouth. "I just hate it. I hate that he can't just let me make my own decisions. And I hate that he won't talk to me."

Crowley took you in his arms and you rested your head against his chest. The tears that welled up in your eyes you willed away quickly. But it felt incredibly soothing to be held like this and understood like no one seemed to at the moment.

Even though you'd have much rather stayed this way forever, you broke the embrace. "I've got to go back before they're too worried about me," you said. After a moment's pause you added, ruefully almost, "but can you promise me you won't just show up again? Him seeing you is the last thing I need right now."

With a sigh that held a hint of annoyance he told you he'd try.

"Go back now. Tell them you got lost, it's a big house." You nodded and turned away from him, feeling cold as you left the room to find your brothers.


End file.
